1
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:17,745
His friends would say
"Stop whining," they've had enough of that

2
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:22,332
His friends would say
"Stop pining, there's other girls to look at”

3
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:28,714
They've tried to set him up
With Tiffany and Indigo

4
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:34,845
But there's something about Mary
That they don't know

5
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,723
Mary

6
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:43,020
There's just something about Mary

7
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:51,236
Well, his friends say
"Look, life's no fairy tale”

8
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:56,700
That he should have some fun
He's suffered long enough

9
00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:02,873
Well, they may know
About domestic and imported ale

10
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:08,170
But they don't know a thing about love

11
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:14,259
Well, his friends would say
He's dreaming and living in the past

12
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:20,390
But they've never fallen in love
So his friends need not be asked

13
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:27,564
His friends would say, "Be reasonable”
His friends would say, "Let go”

14
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:35,906
But there's something about Mary
That they don't know

15
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,367
Mary

16
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:43,831
There's just something about Mary

17
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,886
When I was 16 years old, I fell in love.

18
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,181
Hey, Renise.

19
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,351
Hey.

20
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,687
So, what's up?

21
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:09,857
Cool.

22
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:20,200
So I was wondering, I don't know
if maybe you wanted to and-- Or not.

23
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,244
If you don't want to, you don't have to.

24
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,539
I just wondered if maybe
you were going to the prom, and--

25
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:30,919
Or if you felt like that,
maybe you'd wanna go with me.

26
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,007
Or, I mean, whatever. If you didn't...

27
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,094
Did you take that bio test?
Because that was, like--

28
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,930
I heard this rumor that this guy I like
was gonna ask me...

29
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,683
...80 I'm gonna wait and see
what happens there.

30
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,270
That sounds great. Yeah.

31
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,939
Okay.

32
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:58,864
- So is that, like, a yes orano or...?
- I thought I made it perfectly clear.

33
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,700
If everything else falls apart...

34
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,619
...maybe.

35
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,623
I'm gonna hold you to that.

36
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:16,131
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Mary.

37
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:21,512
I wonder who she's going with.

38
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,974
Her name was Mary.

39
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,937
She moved to our little Rhode Island town
from Minnesota two years earlier.

40
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,066
What a fox.

41
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,194
I heard she's going
with some guy named Woogie.

42
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:42,741
- Who?
- Big guy. Goes to Barrington High.

43
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:46,954
Woogie from Bore-ington High?
Sounds like a loser.

44
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,664
Loser?

45
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:54,503
Woogie's only, like, all-state football
and basketball and fucking valedictorian.

46
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:58,674
I heard he got a scholarship to Princeton,
but he's going to Europe first to model.

47
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,469
Yeah? I was thinking of doing that.

48
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,347
Sorry.

49
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,641
Have you--? Have you seen my baseball?

50
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,727
No, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it.

51
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,065
Have you seen my baseball?

52
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,817
- No.
- Sorry.

53
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,029
Hey, check it out.

54
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,865
Have you seen my baseball?

55
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:27,870
Hey, buddy. Come here.
I think I know where your ball is.

56
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:31,790
- You seen my baseball?
- Yeah, yeah, I seen it.

57
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,502
You see that girl over there?

58
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,756
She has it,
except she doesn't call it a baseball.

59
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,301
She's got another name for it.

60
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,140
Nice muffs.

61
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,144
- Have you seen my wiener?
- What?

62
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,564
Have you seen my wiener?

63
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:58,901
- What the hell did you just say, buddy?
- Wiener?

64
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,987
Get your hand off my car.
What the hell did you just say to me?

65
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,990
My wiener.

66
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:08,911
You fucking son of a bitch.
I'm gonna fucking kick your ass.

67
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,164
- Come on, get up, fat boy. Let's go.
- Hey, Smokey, take it easy.

68
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,209
- Who the fuck are you?
- The guy's not all there.

69
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,296
Get out of my face. Come on.
You want the first punch?

70
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,007
- Yeah! Fight, fight, fight!
- Fight, fight, fight!

71
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,511
What's the matter with you? Stop it.

72
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,264
- You okay, Warren?
- Mary, have you seen my baseball?

73
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,974
No, I haven't seen your baseball.

74
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:34,770
What are you doing leaving the yard?
You're not supposed to leave by yourself.

75
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,772
- You know him?
- He's my brother.

76
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,315
I'm her brother.

77
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,193
- Warren.
- I didn't realize, you know?

78
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,905
- You ought to tell him to watch his mouth.
- Jerk.

79
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:51,036
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

80
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,163
You okay?

81
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:56,833
Thanks, Ted.

82
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,295
I couldn't believe it. She knew my name.

83
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,507
Some of my best friends
didn't know my name.

84
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:07,636
I think that Joe Montana is, like,
the most underrated quarterback.

85
00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,138
I mean, he should've been
a first-round draft pick.

86
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:14,017
Look what he did at Notre Dame.
It's so ridiculous.

87
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,646
- Exactly.
- I'm telling you, this year, it's the 49ers.

88
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:21,275
-49ers.
- All the way.

89
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:26,572
- Piggyback ride. Piggyback.
- Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone.

90
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:29,741
No, that's okay, I'll do it.
I mean, if you think he can hold me.

91
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:33,537
Are you kidding me? He's 230 pounds,
he can hold you. You don't have to.

92
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:37,249
No, it's okay. I got a little disc thing,
but it's all right. Here we go.

93
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,793
Giddyup, Warren. There we go.

94
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,922
- That's fun, huh, Warren?
- He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he?

95
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,675
Yeah, Warren, bucking bronco. Okay.

96
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,802
My turn now. My turn.

97
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,848
- Okay, well, I don't--
- It's okay, Ted. You don't have to.

98
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,476
- Giddyup. Giddyup.
- That's fun.

99
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,355
That's fun, huh, Warren?

100
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,658
That was fun.

101
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,744
- He's only 230, huh?
- Yeah.

102
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,539
- I'm in the yard now. I'll hide.
- Okay, go hide.

103
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,625
- He's got a lot of energy.
- Yeah.

104
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,003
- He's great. I have a lot of fun with him.
- Yeah.

105
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,799
- Thanks for walking us back.
- Yeah, no problem.

106
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,887
- I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna--
- So are you going to the prom?

107
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,645
- I think proms are dumb.
- I thought maybe we could go together.

108
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,065
Oh, you're gonna go with, like,
a bunch of people, or...?

109
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,067
Yeah. If you want a designated driver--

110
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,527
No, no. I mean you and me.

111
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,906
Like, we could go together.
The two of us.

112
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,577
- You and me?
- Yeah.

113
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,250
Well, is that a yes or a no?

114
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,671
- Sure. All right.
- Good.

115
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,589
Cool.

116
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,968
I'm gonna take Warren back inside.
I'll see you at school.

117
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,471
- Bye.
- Cool. Catch you back at school.

118
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:20,602
From that moment on, the guys at school
looked at me in a whole new light.

119
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,729
You're a fucking liar.

120
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,733
Do you expect us to believe
that you're going to the prom with Mary?

121
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,277
What's so crazy about that?

122
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,864
Oh, yeah, dirt bud,
and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper.

123
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,618
- What happened to Woogie?
- She said she broke up with him.

124
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:41,581
- That he was getting weird on her.
- I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit.

125
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,834
- Why not make it a hundred?
- Rock on.

126
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,128
- I'm in.
- Me too.

127
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:13,739
I've paid him enough money. I'm not paying
until the job gets done. He can kiss my ass.

128
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,407
What the hell do you want?

129
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,250
I'm Ted Stroehmann.
I'm here to take Mary to the prom.

130
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,668
Prom?

131
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,088
Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago
with her boyfriend, Woogie.

132
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,257
- Woogie?
- Woogie.

133
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,136
I see.

134
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,474
Charlie, you are so mean.

135
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,728
This is Mary's stepfather, Charlie.
I'm Sheila, her mother.

136
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:48,523
Ted, don't pay attention to anything
he says. He's a laugh a minute.

137
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,983
That's very funny.

138
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,361
I'm just having a little fun with the guy.
It's prom night.

139
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,946
Woogie's got a sense of humor.

140
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,951
Oh, hey. Hi, Warren.

141
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:04,080
Listen, once he gets into that MTV,
he'll be there for quite a while.

142
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:10,128
Here she comes.
Oh, honey, you look beautiful.

143
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,053
Shit, look at that.
You better be careful, boy.

144
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,028
Hi, Ted.

145
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:39,616
Hi, Mary. You look really pretty.

146
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,077
Thanks. I like your colors.

147
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,914
Oh, thanks.
The guy said it was tan and taupe.

148
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,960
Poor Ted's been getting it both barrels
from the wisenheimer here.

149
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,921
Dad, you haven't been busting Ted's chops,
have you?

150
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,091
I was just fucking with him, right, Ted?
You know.

151
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:01,596
- Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted?
- About 10 times.

152
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:02,848
Okay.

153
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,892
Hey, Warren,
I think I found your baseball.

154
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,229
- You've seen my baseball?
- Well, if it's a big white one?

155
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,694
With little red stitching?

156
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:16,903
Yup, it is.

157
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,198
Then I think I saw it
right behind your ear.

158
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,411
Warren, Warren, Warren. Hold it.

159
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,122
Get up, boy. Hey, Warren.

160
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,833
Be careful, man.

161
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:31,751
- Get up, man.
- Warren.

162
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,545
Let go of him. Get down from there.

163
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,881
- Hey, Ted, what are you doing, man?
- Ted. Ted.

164
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,799
Warren, put him down now.

165
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:42,220
- What the hell are you doing?
- Here, here. Mary, come around here.

166
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,805
This is my house, here.

167
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:48,560
- Okay, sweetheart, okay.
- It's okay, Warren. It's okay. Here you go.

168
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,897
- What's the matter with you?
- I was trying to give him the baseball.

169
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,692
- Baseball? What baseball?
- I had a baseball. I know he likes baseball.

170
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,320
- What baseball?
- There was a-- It's right--

171
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,113
There was a baseball here, I swear.

172
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:04,159
I brought him a baseball,
and I was just trying to give him a present.

173
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,037
- Are you yelling at me in my own house?
- No.

174
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,623
Don't make me have to open
a can of whup-ass on you.

175
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,792
Ted, I should have told you.
He has a thing about his ears.

176
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,337
You all right, Warren?

177
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,465
Honey, your strap's broken.

178
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,675
You're right.

179
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,303
Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna go upstairs
real quick, okay?

180
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,679
I just need two minutes.

181
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,682
- I gotta fix my dress.
- I'll help you, honey.

182
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,518
- Yeah, yeah.
- Can I use your bathroom, sir?

183
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:31,728
I've gotta--

184
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,688
- He broke the table.
- Son of a bitch.

185
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,275
- I didn't do it.
- It's all right. It's all right.

186
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,778
- I swear there was--
- The bathroom is that way.

187
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:40,987
--A baseball.

188
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,866
Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass
on him.

189
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,911
Trying to do the kid a favor.

190
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,696
Is he looking at you? What is he--?

191
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,031
- What is he doing down there?
- Oh, no, I--

192
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,200
- No, no, I wasn't-- I wasn't--
- Mom, wait.

193
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,661
- Cover yourself. Cover yourself.
- Shit!

194
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:47,429
- Ted, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay.

195
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,348
Okay. Okay, just take your time.
It's all right.

196
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,018
You know, he's been in there
over a half an hour.

197
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,021
Charlie, I think he's masturbating.

198
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,981
- Oh, come on.
- Mom.

199
00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,774
He's not masturbating.

200
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,652
He was watching you undress
with a silly grin on his face.

201
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,321
No, I was watching the birds.

202
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,407
- Do something.
- What do you want me to do?

203
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,910
I think he needs some male help.

204
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:15,123
- Oh, for crying out--
- No, Dad, just give him a minute.

205
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:19,753
- Okay, kid. Listen, I'm coming in, okay?
- No, no. Don't.

206
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,298
Now, exactly what the hell is the situation?
What, did you shit yourself?

207
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,258
Oh, I wish.

208
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,385
I got it stuck.

209
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:29,846
You got what stuck?

210
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,307
It.

211
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,559
It.

212
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:40,648
Well, listen, it's not the end of the world.
These kind of things happen.

213
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,318
Let's have a look at it.

214
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,572
Oh, for God and heaven's sake!

215
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,910
- Quiet.
- Sheila.

216
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,412
- No.
- Sheila, honey?

217
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,955
Don't--

218
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,918
Sheila, honey, you gotta come here.
You gotta see this.

219
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,920
- What is it?
- What? No.

220
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,547
- Come in here, honey.
- No. No, don't.

221
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,926
Don't worry, she's a dental hygienist.
She'll know what to do.

222
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,678
- Hi, Ted.
- Hi, Mrs. Jensen. How are you?

223
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,348
- You okay?
- Yeah.

224
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,100
Holy shit.

225
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,936
- Charlie, you could have warned me.
- Keep it down.

226
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:19,771
- Okay, I...
- I'm sorry, Mrs. Jensen.

227
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,148
I don't want Mary to--
I don't want her to hear.

228
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,192
Yeah. Let's just relax here, okay?

229
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:30,365
Now, what exactly
are we looking at here?

230
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:35,036
- What do you mean? What--?
- Well, I mean, is it the...?

231
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,580
Or the...?

232
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,291
- Is it the frank or the beans?
- Right.

233
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,088
I don't know. It looks like--
I think it's a little bit of both.

234
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:49,050
- Franks and beans. Franks and beans.
- Warren, quiet.

235
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,929
- What's that bubble there?
- What do you think? It's a--

236
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,599
Well, how the hell did you get the beans
above the frank? I mean--

237
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,727
I don't know. It wasn't like
it was a well-thought-out plan.

238
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:03,398
You know, there really does seem to be
a lot of skin coming through there...

239
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:06,234
...so I'm gonna find some Bactine, honey.

240
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,736
No. You know what?
I don't need any. Really.

241
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,447
- Hello there.
- Oh, Christ.

242
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,408
What the hell's going on here?

243
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:18,454
- Neighbors said they heard a lady scream.
- Well, you're looking at him.

244
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,541
You gotta take a look at this thing.

245
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:25,295
- Oh, Jesus.
- Ain't it a beaut?

246
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,966
What the hell were you thinking?

247
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,428
How the hell did you get the zipper
all the way to the top?

248
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,431
Well, let's just say the kid's limber.

249
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,853
- Christ. What the--? God.
- You okay?

250
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:45,023
Somebody's gonna have to move
that station wagon so I can get in.

251
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,941
- Lenny, come here.
- Who--?

252
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:51,237
Take a look at what this numbnuts did.

253
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,615
Holy shit.

254
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,788
Mike, Eddie, get down here quick.
Bring everybody. Bring a camera.

255
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,458
You're not gonna believe this.
We got a kid down here--

256
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,919
- What's your name?
- No, I...

257
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,755
No, there's only one thing to do here.

258
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,467
What? No. You know what? I got an idea.
Look, look. I can just--

259
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,387
We don't have to do anything, because,
look, I can just wear this over the front.

260
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:19,766
- I can go to the prom, deal with it later.
- Son, relax.

261
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,185
You already laid the tracks.
That's the hard part.

262
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:23,937
Now we're just gonna back it up.

263
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,314
Teddy, be brave.

264
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,484
It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid.

265
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:34,197
A one and a two...

266
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,949
...and a...

267
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,035
- We got a bleeder.
- Keep the pressure on it. Keep it on.

268
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,371
Everybody get out of the way.

269
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,961
- He was masturbating.
- People, please move out of the way.

270
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,798
- Please, move. This is serious, people.
- He was masturbating.

271
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,717
- Move out of the way.
- None of this ever happened to Woogie.

272
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,136
Are you okay, Ted?

273
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,516
- Ted.
- He was masturbating.

274
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,271
- My God, are you all right?
- Killer.

275
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,278
Okay. Okay, Ted.

276
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:16,072
- Okay, let's roll.
- All right, folks, it's over. Go home.

277
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,824
Let's go. It's over.

278
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,087
So anyway,
school ended a couple of days later...

279
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,175
...and her father
got transferred to Florida in July.

280
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:40,763
So I worked all summer
to pay off those debts and...

281
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:44,475
...well, I never saw Mary again.

282
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,520
That was, what?

283
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:52,858
- Thirteen years ago.
- Well, that's very interesting.

284
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:57,196
Anyway, I know it's not the type of thing
you'd forget, but I guess I just--

285
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,656
I kind of, you know--

286
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,784
I must have blocked it out of my head
or something...

287
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,412
...because I was driving down the highway
last week...

288
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:08,916
...and I started thinking about Mary,
and all of a sudden...

289
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:12,753
...it was like I couldn't breathe.
I mean, I was-- I was--

290
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,256
I felt like I was gonna die.

291
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:19,427
So I pulled off the road
and I just sort of stopped in this...

292
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:24,682
I guess it was a rest area.
I was just kind of shaking, and...

293
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:29,228
You know,
rest areas are homosexual hangouts.

294
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,441
Highway rest areas.

295
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:39,447
They're the bathhouses of the '90s
for many, many, many gay men.

296
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,953
So, what are you--?

297
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,165
What are you saying?

298
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,337
Time, she's up.

299
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:58,215
We'll delve into that next week.

300
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,596
Well, you know, you are a writer,
and writers are artists.

301
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,807
And most artists are a little foofy.
A little, you know--

302
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,977
A little foofy?
Thanks for the support. Really.

303
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:13,814
Hey, guys, I thought you might like
some of these with your beers.

304
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:17,151
- Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself.
- I don't think I'm gonna have one.

305
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,986
- Thanks, though.
- You don't want one?

306
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030
What do you want?
You want something else?

307
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,491
- Come on. You want something to eat?
- Not hungry.

308
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,620
You sure? You want a cookie? Something
like that? Honey, we got cookies?

309
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,997
No, we don't, but, you know,
I could bake some.

310
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,625
- No, no, no. Don't bake any.
- No, that's a good idea.

311
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:36,253
- Bake some. Bake some Toll Houses.
- Oh, great. Yeah, yeah.

312
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,882
- Chocolate chip or butterscotch?
- Let's go with the chocolate chip.

313
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:43,052
- Really, you don't-- It's--
- No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

314
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,596
- Really. She loves this kind of thing.
- Really?

315
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,139
- Yeah.
- See, that's great.

316
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,351
That's what I want.

317
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:54,939
A family and somebody to, you know...

318
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,403
It must be wonderful having all this.

319
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,781
Each day is better than the next.

320
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:08,327
How about you? The big I?

321
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,038
- Ever been?
- What?

322
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,707
In love.

323
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,876
Well, once.

324
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,004
Mary.

325
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,965
Oh, God. Not Mary again.

326
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:26,887
Look, I know it was brief,
but it was definitely love, Dom.

327
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,890
I mean,
crushes don't last for 13 years, right?

328
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,018
Whatever happened to Mary?

329
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,604
Told you, she moved with her family
to Miami.

330
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,105
So why don't you look her up?

331
00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:40,192
I did once. I called. She wasn't listed.

332
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,154
So that's it? You get one bump in the road
and give up?

333
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:45,823
Well, it's probably for the best.
After 13 years...

334
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,992
...she's probably gonna think
I'm a stalker.

335
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:51,162
You know what you should do?
Hire a private investigator.

336
00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:53,998
To find her, follow her around.
She won't know anything.

337
00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:56,792
No way. That's way too creepy.

338
00:22:56,959 --> 00:23:01,380
Besides, she's probably married with
a couple of kids by now. Girls like Mary...

339
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,841
...they don't stay single.

340
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:09,805
Hey, I've got an idea. There's this guy
down in my office. His name's Healy.

341
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,558
He's a claims investigator.
He's a hell of a bloodhound.

342
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:15,895
He shoots down to Miami
every couple of weeks. He can help you out.

343
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,898
This guy runs a little hot,
but he gets the job done.

344
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:24,070
So...

345
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:28,908
...Dom tells me you're looking for
some lady friend you knew back at school.

346
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,993
Yeah. Yeah.

347
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,664
That's cute. I don't buy it, but it's cute.

348
00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:36,957
You're not buying what?

349
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:41,712
Ted, I'm the kind of guy
who likes to shoot from the hip.

350
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,342
I want you to level with me.

351
00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:54,850
Come on, let's talk.
Did you knock this skirt up?

352
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,310
No.

353
00:23:56,769 --> 00:24:01,315
- She's blackmailing you, right?
- Blackmailing me? No.

354
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:05,319
- You want her dead, don't you?
- Dead?

355
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:08,030
Are you--? You're not serious, are you?

356
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:11,575
You expect me to believe
this is a straight stalker case? Come on.

357
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,662
Hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker.
I'm not a stalker, all right?

358
00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:17,081
- She's a friend of mine.
- Oh, sure she is.

359
00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:19,667
That explains why
she's got an unlisted number...

360
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:22,211
...and you haven't heard squat from her
in 13 years.

361
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:23,963
Yeah, real chum.

362
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:27,174
- What--7?
- You're good, Ted. Real piece of work.

363
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:30,678
What are you--? You know what?
Forget it. Just forget the whole thing.

364
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:32,972
Okay, I'll do it.

365
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:37,685
But if this chick turns up with a toe tag,
I'm rolling over on you, big guy.

366
00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:40,771
All right.

367
00:24:58,289 --> 00:25:01,083
Healy, you dog.

368
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,586
Sully. Look at you.

369
00:25:03,753 --> 00:25:06,714
You hot shit. You look fucking pisser.

370
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,884
Hey. Hey, good fella.

371
00:25:10,051 --> 00:25:12,053
- Does he bite?
- A little bit.

372
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:13,596
Get in.

373
00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:20,102
- Here's the info you asked for.
- Thanks.

374
00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:23,606
You know, you should thank me.
That girl was not easy to find.

375
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:26,817
What, did she scam you
out of some insurance dough?

376
00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:31,572
No. Some guy gave me a couple bucks
to track down his high school girlfriend.

377
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:33,533
Stalker, huh?

378
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,327
Yep. Bigtime.

379
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:08,276
Looks like we found your Mary, Ted.

380
00:26:08,526 --> 00:26:11,112
Husband: negative.

381
00:26:11,779 --> 00:26:15,241
Children and a Labrador: negative.

382
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:19,620
Tight little package: affirmative.

383
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:28,629
Good morning, Magda.

384
00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:31,465
- Hi, doll. You're in my light.
- Sorry.

385
00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:37,388
- So you've been out here all night again?
- Bet your ass I have.

386
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:40,099
This is an important job,
neighborhood watch is.

387
00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:42,977
Neighborhood watch.
Is that what we're calling it?

388
00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:46,731
Listening to perfect strangers'
telephone conversations.

389
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:51,068
This only picks up cellular phones
in a half-a-mile radius.

390
00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,154
Meaning?

391
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:57,033
These are the people you live amongst.
You got a right to know if they're creeps.

392
00:26:57,199 --> 00:27:00,411
For instance, do you know the guy
in the green house down the street?

393
00:27:00,578 --> 00:27:01,621
Yeah.

394
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:03,372
Cheating on his wife.

395
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,002
And I am not surprised.
I am not surprised at all...

396
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:11,172
...because Puffy used to bark his balls off
whenever he saw him.

397
00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:14,550
And you know that Puffy,
he only barks at the bad people.

398
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:17,011
Okay.

399
00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:21,182
Well, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls
and hook up with Warren...

400
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:22,850
...So try to get some sleep.

401
00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:25,353
- Okay. Bye, doll.
- Bye.

402
00:27:26,771 --> 00:27:28,606
Hello.

403
00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:38,866
Hey, Herb. How's it going?
Apple for you today.

404
00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:40,368
Thanks, Mary.

405
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:43,746
- Have a good day. See you later.
- Looking good, honey.

406
00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:16,946
- Hi, Mary.
- Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing?

407
00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:19,448
Looks like we got a jock on our hands.

408
00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:29,375
- Here, you want the sports page?
- Thank you.

409
00:28:30,251 --> 00:28:32,962
- Take care now.
- Bye, guys. See you.

410
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,653
Yeah. Remember, I have two, Mary.

411
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:01,240
Yeah. You can have two halves,
just like everybody else.

412
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:03,284
Yeah, that's good.

413
00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:07,121
- Will you marry me, Mary?
- I would love to, Jimmy.

414
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:11,125
But I'm already engaged to Freddie.

415
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:14,962
- Who's Freddie? Me?
- Yes, you.

416
00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:17,256
Will you marry me?

417
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:21,594
What about Dolores?
You gonna marry us both?

418
00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:23,387
I'm gonna kiss you.

419
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:26,682
I think you're making out
pretty well there. Okay.

420
00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:30,811
- Thanks, Mary.
- You're welcome, Zack.

421
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,397
- No onions.
- No onions.

422
00:29:33,564 --> 00:29:35,608
No onions. How are you doing?

423
00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:39,445
Listen to this one.

424
00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:43,658
"Seeking sensitive Wasp doctor
to share candlelit dinners...

425
00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:46,494
...long walks in Coconut Grove,
marriage."

426
00:29:46,661 --> 00:29:49,998
Is she looking for a corpse?
You have to be specific when you write.

427
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:54,419
You have to say
"Seeking deaf-mute with, you know...

428
00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:56,504
...3-pound cock and trust fund."

429
00:29:59,591 --> 00:30:02,760
I want a guy who can play 36 holes
and still have enough energy...

430
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:05,555
...to take me and Warren to a ball game
and eat hot dogs.

431
00:30:05,722 --> 00:30:09,517
I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer.
Not lite beer, but beer.

432
00:30:09,684 --> 00:30:10,977
That's my ad. Print it up.

433
00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:15,940
A fatty who likes beer and golf.

434
00:30:16,107 --> 00:30:19,027
Jeez, Mary,
where are you gonna find a gem like that?

435
00:30:20,737 --> 00:30:23,281
Okay, well, here's the catch.

436
00:30:23,531 --> 00:30:25,491
He has to be self-employed.

437
00:30:25,867 --> 00:30:26,909
Like a drug dealer?

438
00:30:28,286 --> 00:30:33,583
No, I was thinking along the lines, maybe,
of somebody like an architect or something.

439
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:37,045
But I want somebody
with freedom in their job, you know?

440
00:30:37,211 --> 00:30:41,424
Somebody who can do it anywhere
and just leave at a drop of a hat.

441
00:30:41,591 --> 00:30:45,595
And where would you
and your beer-bellied architect be going to?

442
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:47,722
- The Super Bowl?
- Yeah.

443
00:30:48,097 --> 00:30:49,140
That's good.

444
00:30:49,307 --> 00:30:51,476
I don't know.
Maybe a few months in Nepal.

445
00:30:51,643 --> 00:30:52,894
Nepal.

446
00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:56,147
And you'd probably dump the poor guy
halfway to Katmandu.

447
00:30:56,814 --> 00:30:58,149
What's that supposed to mean?

448
00:30:58,316 --> 00:31:01,235
- It means you change your mind too much.
- No, I don't.

449
00:31:01,402 --> 00:31:02,570
Come off it, Mary.

450
00:31:02,737 --> 00:31:05,281
Remember that gorgeous,
corn-fed white boy, honey...

451
00:31:05,448 --> 00:31:07,992
...that you just dumped
like yesterday's garbage?

452
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:09,661
What was his name? Pack man.

453
00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:14,248
Okay, we had fun for a while.

454
00:31:14,415 --> 00:31:17,710
Mary, cut the crap.
What really happened with Brett?

455
00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:20,088
Yeah, Brett seemed so sweet.

456
00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:24,759
You know what Tucker said
Brett told him?

457
00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:27,428
He said that if Warren wasn't in my life...

458
00:31:27,595 --> 00:31:30,264
...that he would have popped the question
a long time ago.

459
00:31:31,224 --> 00:31:33,267
- Oh, man.
- What a shock.

460
00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:36,729
To hell with Brett, you know?

461
00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:40,149
I've got a vibrator.

462
00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:03,172
Those are the plays of the month.
Thank you for joining us.

463
00:32:03,339 --> 00:32:08,302
Look forward to seeing you next Sunday
on The Sports Machine. Have a good week.

464
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:21,315
Oh, yeah.

465
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,694
Here comes the money shot.

466
00:32:34,329 --> 00:32:36,664
First chink in the armor, Ted.

467
00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:43,338
Shit.

468
00:32:45,799 --> 00:32:47,884
Oh, yeah.

469
00:32:47,884 --> 00:32:47,926
Oh, yeah.

470
00:32:47,926 --> 00:32:48,134
Oh, yeah.

471
00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:58,520
Pop, you wanna get me a whiskey sour
when you get a sec?

472
00:32:58,686 --> 00:32:59,729
Whiskey sour
coming up.

473
00:32:59,896 --> 00:33:03,483
- I got some excellent news for you.
- Oh, yeah? Excellent?

474
00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:07,737
- I think your life's about to change.
- Really? So you found her?

475
00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:14,369
Oh, yeah. And you were right, man.
She really is something else. My God.

476
00:33:14,536 --> 00:33:19,040
Really? So she hasn't changed at all, huh?

477
00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:24,003
Well, that I couldn't say.
Let me ask you something.

478
00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:27,924
Was Mary a little big-boned
back in high school?

479
00:33:28,091 --> 00:33:31,678
Big-boned? No, no, not at all. No.

480
00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,639
I guess she packed on a few pounds
over the years.

481
00:33:35,056 --> 00:33:37,475
Oh, yeah? So she's a little--?
She's a little chubby?

482
00:33:37,642 --> 00:33:40,395
I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half.
Not bad.

483
00:33:41,980 --> 00:33:43,898
My. A deuce and a half, huh?

484
00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:46,484
Well, you know,
you shit out a bunch of kids...

485
00:33:46,651 --> 00:33:49,112
...and you're bound to put on
a few pounds.

486
00:33:49,446 --> 00:33:51,948
So she's--? She's married?

487
00:33:52,115 --> 00:33:54,701
No, no, she's never been.
That's the good news.

488
00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:56,828
Yeah.

489
00:33:56,995 --> 00:34:00,331
Four kids, three different guys,
but no rock.

490
00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:02,250
Hyperactive little fuckers too.

491
00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:05,420
Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair,
I bet.

492
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,965
She's in a wheelchair?
Mary's in a wheelchair?

493
00:34:09,591 --> 00:34:11,509
I thought that was part of your kick.

494
00:34:11,676 --> 00:34:14,262
- Excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour.
- Yeah, whatever.

495
00:34:14,429 --> 00:34:17,265
Are you sure it's the same Mary?
You got the right person?

496
00:34:17,432 --> 00:34:20,435
Oh, yeah. It's Mary, all right.
The brother, Warren?

497
00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:23,104
Hey, don't look so shocked, Ted.

498
00:34:23,271 --> 00:34:28,318
It's been a long time. I bet you've changed
a lot over the last 13 years, haven't you?

499
00:34:28,485 --> 00:34:32,947
- What, do you think your shit don't stink?
- No, I don't think-- I mean, yes, it doe--

500
00:34:33,114 --> 00:34:35,617
- I don't--
- Okay, I got all the information you need.

501
00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:38,119
I got it off her bookie. Nice guy.

502
00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:42,457
You really should look her up, Ted.
I mean, she's a real spark plug, this one.

503
00:34:42,624 --> 00:34:46,252
Well, thank you.
Thanks, Healy. Good work.

504
00:34:46,419 --> 00:34:50,840
Ted, don't you want the name
of the housing project?

505
00:34:52,884 --> 00:34:54,385
What?

506
00:34:54,552 --> 00:34:55,595
--For 1995.

507
00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:58,223
See the Sarone boys
on Route 1 in South Brattleboro...

508
00:34:58,389 --> 00:35:02,018
...and right here on Jefferson Boulevard
in Warwick, you'll be--

509
00:35:15,907 --> 00:35:19,077
Well it hurts from the bottom

510
00:35:19,244 --> 00:35:22,622
And it hurts down to your soul

511
00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:26,751
That's because true love is not nice

512
00:35:29,379 --> 00:35:31,923
And it brings up hurt

513
00:35:32,090 --> 00:35:35,593
From when you were 5 years old

514
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,681
That's because true love is not nice

515
00:35:39,847 --> 00:35:41,474
N o

516
00:35:42,475 --> 00:35:46,312
Oh, pain, pain, pain

517
00:35:46,479 --> 00:35:49,524
Ain't that just love's name?

518
00:35:49,691 --> 00:35:55,071
Love can bring up hurt
From way down low

519
00:35:55,989 --> 00:35:59,200
It now be emphasized

520
00:35:59,367 --> 00:36:03,246
True love is just not civilized

521
00:36:03,413 --> 00:36:05,790
True love is not nice

522
00:36:05,957 --> 00:36:07,917
No, no

523
00:36:14,882 --> 00:36:16,384
Where are you going?

524
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,889
- Oh, I resigned.
- Good luck in Miami, Pat.

525
00:36:22,056 --> 00:36:25,935
Miami? What are you doing in Miami?

526
00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:29,188
I took a job offer.

527
00:36:29,355 --> 00:36:30,898
With who?

528
00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:34,736
With Rice-a-Roni.

529
00:36:35,028 --> 00:36:38,072
Isn't that the San Francisco treat?

530
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,991
It was.

531
00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:43,161
- They're changing their image.
- Yeah, well, listen.

532
00:36:43,328 --> 00:36:45,747
- I've been thinking about what you said.
- Good, good.

533
00:36:45,913 --> 00:36:49,250
And I still wanna look her up.

534
00:36:49,417 --> 00:36:53,129
Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts?

535
00:36:53,296 --> 00:36:56,758
I thought you said
she was a real spark plug.

536
00:36:56,924 --> 00:37:00,720
No, no, I said butt plug. She's heinous.

537
00:37:03,765 --> 00:37:06,768
You know what?
All the same, I think I wanna call her.

538
00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:09,020
I mean, I know it sounds crazy...

539
00:37:09,187 --> 00:37:11,439
...but, I don't know,
maybe I can help her out.

540
00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:15,401
I feel bad, you know. The poor thing,
she's in a wheelchair for God's sakes.

541
00:37:15,568 --> 00:37:20,239
- It's a bunion. It'll heal.
- Bunion? You-- I thought--

542
00:37:20,406 --> 00:37:23,034
You know what? That's not even it.
The point is, I just--

543
00:37:23,201 --> 00:37:28,831
I know this doesn't make sense to you,
but I can't just turn it off that fast.

544
00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:34,504
I guess I still have feelings for her.

545
00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:38,466
This girl really means something
to you, huh?

546
00:37:42,762 --> 00:37:44,138
All right.

547
00:37:44,764 --> 00:37:46,349
Tell you what.

548
00:37:47,642 --> 00:37:50,395
I'll get you her number
as soon as she gets back from Japan.

549
00:37:50,561 --> 00:37:52,730
Thank you, I appreciate--

550
00:37:52,897 --> 00:37:56,984
Japan? What's happening in Japan?
Why is she going to Japan?

551
00:37:58,027 --> 00:38:00,488
You've heard of mail-order brides,
haven't you?

552
00:38:00,655 --> 00:38:03,950
- Well, they go that way too.
- Mary's a...?

553
00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:06,452
What are they, desperate? She's a whale.

554
00:38:06,619 --> 00:38:10,957
Don't forget, it's a sumo culture.
They pay by the pound there.

555
00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:14,168
Sort of like tuna.

556
00:38:15,670 --> 00:38:17,672
What happened to--?
You said she was single.

557
00:38:17,839 --> 00:38:21,884
- Remember, no rock?
- You had your window, Ted. You blew it.

558
00:38:24,762 --> 00:38:26,806
I had my window?

559
00:38:28,808 --> 00:38:32,854
I'm sorry, buddy. It's just, you know,
you're taking this all wrong.

560
00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:36,566
Okay? I mean, come on, you're liberated.
I feel liberated.

561
00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:40,319
I mean, you're in therapy thinking
you blew it with the greatest girl ever...

562
00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:43,531
...and it turns out that getting your dick
stuck in your zipper...

563
00:38:43,698 --> 00:38:45,908
...was the best thing
that ever happened to you.

564
00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:49,328
- Say it a little louder?
- I'm sorry, but it was.

565
00:38:50,788 --> 00:38:52,874
I never told you that.

566
00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:56,627
Christ, Ted, I was only four towns away.

567
00:38:56,878 --> 00:38:59,505
- Excuse me.
- Oh, sure, sweetheart.

568
00:38:59,672 --> 00:39:00,798
Oh, man, I gotta go.

569
00:39:00,965 --> 00:39:04,719
I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help
my boss's brother move into his apartment.

570
00:39:04,886 --> 00:39:08,973
- Your boss's brother? Who's that?
- I don't even know. I never met him.

571
00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:12,393
Ted, you gotta finish that novel
so you can quit that stupid magazine.

572
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:13,728
Yeah.

573
00:39:19,901 --> 00:39:21,778
Nice swing.

574
00:39:29,327 --> 00:39:31,162
Christ, hit a house.

575
00:39:32,205 --> 00:39:34,081
I haven't swung the wrenches in a while.

576
00:39:39,462 --> 00:39:41,964
Would you mind giving me
some pointers here?

577
00:39:43,216 --> 00:39:46,177
Yeah, sure.
Don't talk in someone's backswing.

578
00:39:47,178 --> 00:39:48,888
Oh, thanks.

579
00:39:50,097 --> 00:39:53,267
- I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one?
- No, thanks.

580
00:39:57,104 --> 00:40:01,150
Look, I'm sorry to bother you again,
but you got change of a dollar?

581
00:40:02,151 --> 00:40:03,194
No.

582
00:40:04,070 --> 00:40:06,572
All I got are these damn Nepalese coins.

583
00:40:10,576 --> 00:40:12,286
You've been to Nepal?

584
00:40:15,456 --> 00:40:17,124
Not in months.

585
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,877
I don't even know why
I bought the damn place.

586
00:40:26,259 --> 00:40:30,972
- Nice meeting you again.
- You too, again.

587
00:40:33,474 --> 00:40:34,684
So, what's your name?

588
00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:37,645
Pat Healy.

589
00:40:40,523 --> 00:40:41,941
Wanna know mine?

590
00:40:42,984 --> 00:40:44,986
I already know it, Mary.

591
00:40:46,571 --> 00:40:47,655
How'd you know that?

592
00:40:48,698 --> 00:40:51,325
Because it's right there on your golf bag.

593
00:40:58,416 --> 00:40:59,834
Damn.

594
00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:03,212
Wow, are those blueprints?

595
00:41:03,379 --> 00:41:08,342
Oh, these? They're just some projects
I'm working on.

596
00:41:08,509 --> 00:41:11,888
Museum, hospital for kids.

597
00:41:12,054 --> 00:41:13,723
Really? Are you an architect?

598
00:41:14,348 --> 00:41:17,602
Just till I get my PGA tour card.

599
00:41:18,477 --> 00:41:23,774
No, I mean, are they putting up
some sort of a new museum in town, or...?

600
00:41:23,941 --> 00:41:27,445
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm sort of burnt-out on talking about it.

601
00:41:27,612 --> 00:41:29,697
Oh, I'm sorry.

602
00:41:29,864 --> 00:41:32,283
It's just a job, really.
Something to keep me moving.

603
00:41:32,783 --> 00:41:36,621
- My real passion is my hobby.
- Really? What's that?

604
00:41:37,121 --> 00:41:38,873
I work with retards.

605
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:43,961
Isn't that a little politically incorrect?

606
00:41:44,128 --> 00:41:46,297
Well, the hell with that.

607
00:41:46,464 --> 00:41:49,884
No one's gonna tell me
who I can and can't work with, right?

608
00:41:50,051 --> 00:41:53,679
- No, I mean--
- We got this one kid, Mongo.

609
00:41:53,846 --> 00:41:57,058
He's got a forehead like
a drive-in movie theater. He's a good shit...

610
00:41:57,224 --> 00:41:59,101
...80 we don't bust his chops too much.

611
00:41:59,268 --> 00:42:03,064
- So one day, Mongo gets out of his cage--
- What, they keep him in a cage?

612
00:42:03,522 --> 00:42:06,567
- Well, it's just an enclosure.
- No, but they keep him confined?

613
00:42:06,734 --> 00:42:08,778
- Right, yeah.
- That's bullshit.

614
00:42:08,945 --> 00:42:10,237
Well, that's what I said.

615
00:42:10,404 --> 00:42:13,449
- So I went out and I got him a leash.
- A leash?

616
00:42:13,616 --> 00:42:17,912
Yeah, one you can hook on to the
clothesline and he can run back and forth...

617
00:42:18,079 --> 00:42:23,626
...and there's plenty of room
for him to dig and play.

618
00:42:23,793 --> 00:42:27,213
That kid has really--
He's really blossomed, you know?

619
00:42:27,380 --> 00:42:29,840
Now I can take him to movies...

620
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:32,426
...baseball games.

621
00:42:32,593 --> 00:42:34,595
You know, fun stuff.

622
00:42:35,471 --> 00:42:38,015
- Yeah.
- Sounds cool.

623
00:42:38,182 --> 00:42:41,519
Oh, yeah, it's cool for them,
but for me, it's much more than that.

624
00:42:41,686 --> 00:42:44,814
For me, it's heaven, you know?

625
00:42:45,022 --> 00:42:49,485
Those goofy bastards are just about
the best thing I've got going in this...

626
00:42:50,486 --> 00:42:52,071
...crazy world.

627
00:42:55,533 --> 00:42:58,786
Hey, dipshit,
be careful with that thing, will you?

628
00:42:59,286 --> 00:43:01,706
- What?
- You heard me.

629
00:43:01,872 --> 00:43:04,875
You already put a fucking nick
in my piano.

630
00:43:05,042 --> 00:43:08,129
Well, I'll try to be a little more careful.

631
00:43:08,713 --> 00:43:11,340
What, are you fading?
You wimping out on me?

632
00:43:11,507 --> 00:43:14,844
It's just that this is a little bit heavy,
that's all.

633
00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:18,264
Heavy? What I wouldn't give
to know what heavy feels like...

634
00:43:18,431 --> 00:43:20,015
...you insensitive prick.

635
00:43:20,641 --> 00:43:24,270
- No, I didn't mean that.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm going down the street...

636
00:43:24,437 --> 00:43:26,689
-...to get coffee.
- Wait. I'll get you the coffee.

637
00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:29,567
Could you just--? Hey, I'm sorry.

638
00:43:37,575 --> 00:43:41,245
Tender fascial tissue left of L7.

639
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,832
Hey, Bob?

640
00:43:45,374 --> 00:43:47,418
Remember Mary?

641
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,920
Oh, yeah.

642
00:43:50,254 --> 00:43:52,465
I remember Mary.

643
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:57,011
Hey, I saw her a couple months ago
at a convention in Las Vegas.

644
00:43:57,720 --> 00:43:59,513
How could you see her at a convention?

645
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,391
Well, I'm a chiropractor,
she's an orthopedic surgeon.

646
00:44:02,558 --> 00:44:04,101
She's a what?

647
00:44:04,268 --> 00:44:09,690
She's an orthopedic surgeon,
and...she's still a fox.

648
00:44:11,401 --> 00:44:13,861
What if the families
don't want a class action?

649
00:44:14,529 --> 00:44:18,074
God, that's what I've been trying to explain
to you people for the last hour.

650
00:44:18,241 --> 00:44:20,702
Okay, fine, we'll go over it again. I--

651
00:44:20,868 --> 00:44:21,869
Mary's a fox.

652
00:44:22,036 --> 00:44:23,413
- What?
- What?

653
00:44:23,580 --> 00:44:25,665
Mary's a fox? What are you--?

654
00:44:25,832 --> 00:44:30,128
Folks, here, let's-- We'll break up.
We'll spitball this tomorrow, okay?

655
00:44:31,546 --> 00:44:34,632
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Mary? My Mary?

656
00:44:34,799 --> 00:44:37,760
She's not in Japan.
She has no rug rats running around.

657
00:44:37,927 --> 00:44:41,514
My friend says she's a fox.
A surgeon fox.

658
00:44:41,681 --> 00:44:43,933
I don't get it. I don't know what you're--
Healy--

659
00:44:44,100 --> 00:44:46,728
Think about it.
He never even looked her up down there.

660
00:44:46,894 --> 00:44:50,982
He was there closing his deal
with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time.

661
00:44:54,402 --> 00:44:55,945
What's up with your head?

662
00:44:56,112 --> 00:44:59,907
Oh, I get hives
tap-dancing for these idiots.

663
00:45:00,074 --> 00:45:02,118
I get a little stressed out.

664
00:45:02,285 --> 00:45:06,414
Jeez, you know, I feel like a royal shit
because I set you up with this guy.

665
00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:11,127
You know what you gotta do.
You gotta call her.

666
00:45:11,753 --> 00:45:15,423
Fuck calling her. I'm going down there.

667
00:45:15,590 --> 00:45:19,177
Yeah. Yeah, okay. ASAP.

668
00:45:19,927 --> 00:45:21,429
So who's the lucky guy?

669
00:45:22,722 --> 00:45:26,225
His name's Pat.
Met him at the driving range.

670
00:45:26,976 --> 00:45:28,019
Is he good-looking?

671
00:45:29,646 --> 00:45:31,522
He's no Steve Young.

672
00:45:32,398 --> 00:45:33,691
So, what is he like?

673
00:45:34,984 --> 00:45:36,611
I don't know.

674
00:45:37,111 --> 00:45:39,280
Kind of a mook. A schlep.

675
00:45:39,447 --> 00:45:41,616
Why the hell are you going out
with a schlep?

676
00:45:41,783 --> 00:45:47,163
It's not like that, Magda. You know,
it's like that movie Harold and Maude.

677
00:45:48,289 --> 00:45:49,540
I don't watch the new ones.

678
00:45:49,707 --> 00:45:53,378
Well, you should because it's probably
the greatest love story of our time.

679
00:45:53,544 --> 00:45:58,383
The point is,
is that love isn't about money...

680
00:45:58,549 --> 00:46:01,219
...or social standings or age.

681
00:46:01,386 --> 00:46:05,473
It's about two people connecting,
having something in common.

682
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,850
You know, kindred spirits.

683
00:46:08,017 --> 00:46:11,479
Fuck kindred spirits.
My little Puffy here is gonna tell you...

684
00:46:11,646 --> 00:46:15,149
...everything you need to know
about that guy in about two seconds flat.

685
00:46:15,316 --> 00:46:18,444
If Puffy starts yapping, he's a loser.

686
00:46:18,611 --> 00:46:23,157
If he likes him, honey,
then you've got yourself a keeper.

687
00:46:48,641 --> 00:46:54,105
Yeah. Pufferball likes it
when I rub his belly.

688
00:46:54,856 --> 00:46:57,066
That is amazing.

689
00:46:57,233 --> 00:47:01,946
He doesn't like anybody.
He never usually likes guys.

690
00:47:02,113 --> 00:47:05,700
- He doesn't like bad guys.
- Is that right?

691
00:47:05,867 --> 00:47:08,411
He can tell that you're an animal nut.

692
00:47:08,703 --> 00:47:12,039
- You are, aren't you?
- You got me pegged.

693
00:47:12,206 --> 00:47:16,669
You know, in Nepal,
the villagers there called me kin ton ti...

694
00:47:17,336 --> 00:47:22,550
...which means
"noble man who is loved by many animal...

695
00:47:22,717 --> 00:47:25,636
...who, in kind, he loveth too."

696
00:47:27,555 --> 00:47:29,766
Would you like a cup of tea
or something?

697
00:47:29,932 --> 00:47:32,560
I'd love a brewski if you got one.

698
00:47:32,727 --> 00:47:34,228
We can do that.

699
00:47:34,395 --> 00:47:37,899
Hey, Magda,
why don't you help me in the kitchen?

700
00:47:38,608 --> 00:47:41,194
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Certainly, of course.

701
00:47:47,658 --> 00:47:50,620
Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he?

702
00:47:53,414 --> 00:47:54,999
Puffer?

703
00:47:56,584 --> 00:47:58,127
Puffer?

704
00:47:59,587 --> 00:48:01,255
Puffer, come on, boy.

705
00:48:01,422 --> 00:48:03,800
Would you like a little clam dip, doll?

706
00:48:03,966 --> 00:48:06,844
No, thank you.
I'd love a Bundt cake if you have one.

707
00:48:08,596 --> 00:48:09,889
- Bundt cake?
- Bundt cake?

708
00:48:10,056 --> 00:48:12,141
One, two, three, four, five.

709
00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:17,438
One, two, three, four, five.

710
00:48:18,105 --> 00:48:19,148
One, two, three...

711
00:48:19,315 --> 00:48:24,195
Hey, Pat, do you want a Budweiser
or a Heinie?

712
00:48:24,362 --> 00:48:25,780
Yeah, whatever.

713
00:48:25,947 --> 00:48:28,324
Come on, Puffer.
Stay away from the light.

714
00:48:30,743 --> 00:48:32,453
Okay, I'll just get you a regular.

715
00:49:02,650 --> 00:49:04,026
All set?

716
00:49:12,034 --> 00:49:13,369
Good pooch.

717
00:49:13,911 --> 00:49:17,582
All we had were some Oreos.
How does that sound, honey?

718
00:49:18,833 --> 00:49:21,836
Oh, my God.

719
00:49:22,503 --> 00:49:26,215
He's got him wrapped up like a baby.

720
00:49:26,716 --> 00:49:29,677
He was-- He was a little chilly.

721
00:49:33,180 --> 00:49:34,348
Well, here we are.

722
00:49:34,515 --> 00:49:35,558
- The museum?
- Yeah.

723
00:49:35,725 --> 00:49:38,853
- I thought we were going to dinner.
- We will, but I have a surprise.

724
00:49:39,020 --> 00:49:41,939
- A surprise?
- Yeah, it's the architecture exhibit.

725
00:49:42,231 --> 00:49:43,900
- Architecture exhibit?
- Yeah.

726
00:49:44,066 --> 00:49:47,862
- I gotta eat something or I get the shakes.
- We'll eat in 20 minutes.

727
00:49:48,029 --> 00:49:50,489
My friend Tucker is upstairs.
I want you to meet him.

728
00:49:50,656 --> 00:49:54,076
- He's an architect too. Come on. Yeah.
- Architect?

729
00:49:54,243 --> 00:49:55,578
Tucker.

730
00:49:55,745 --> 00:49:59,832
This is amazing.
This just blows me away.

731
00:49:59,999 --> 00:50:04,462
What do you think this falls under?
Is this art deco, or is it art nouveau?

732
00:50:05,504 --> 00:50:08,299
- Deco. Deco, yeah.
- Yeah.

733
00:50:08,758 --> 00:50:10,509
It's beautiful.

734
00:50:10,885 --> 00:50:14,597
Is this--?
Okay, is this a vestibule, or is it a portico?

735
00:50:14,764 --> 00:50:16,223
What is the difference?

736
00:50:16,390 --> 00:50:21,938
When you're looking at architecture,
try to visualize the buildings as a whole.

737
00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:26,567
You know, try to see them
in their natural state.

738
00:50:26,734 --> 00:50:32,406
In their totalitarianism, so to speak.

739
00:50:32,573 --> 00:50:36,911
- Stone-crab time. Let's go to Joe's, huh?
- Hey, Tucker.

740
00:50:39,330 --> 00:50:41,082
Mary.

741
00:50:41,248 --> 00:50:42,500
How are you?

742
00:50:42,917 --> 00:50:44,627
Good. I'm glad we saw you.

743
00:50:46,253 --> 00:50:48,089
Come on, like you mean it.

744
00:50:48,255 --> 00:50:51,384
Tucker. This is my friend Pat Healy.

745
00:50:51,550 --> 00:50:54,178
- Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Patrick.
- Same here.

746
00:50:54,345 --> 00:50:57,431
- Pat is an architect as well.
- Oh, really?

747
00:50:57,598 --> 00:51:00,977
- Where are your offices?
- Mainly, I work out of Boston.

748
00:51:01,143 --> 00:51:02,937
Boston, huh?

749
00:51:03,104 --> 00:51:06,440
- Did you get your degree up there?
- You bet.

750
00:51:06,774 --> 00:51:08,901
Really? Where did you study?

751
00:51:09,443 --> 00:51:10,820
Harvard.

752
00:51:10,987 --> 00:51:14,115
Then you must have studied
under Kim Green.

753
00:51:14,323 --> 00:51:15,533
Well, among others.

754
00:51:17,034 --> 00:51:20,663
You know,
Pat does projects all over the world.

755
00:51:20,830 --> 00:51:23,040
Really?
Where would I have seen your work?

756
00:51:23,791 --> 00:51:25,960
Well, have you been to...?

757
00:51:26,127 --> 00:51:27,878
Well, let me see.

758
00:51:28,045 --> 00:51:30,923
Santiago, Chile?

759
00:51:31,090 --> 00:51:34,385
Twice last year. Which building is yours?

760
00:51:35,803 --> 00:51:41,308
- Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
- Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?

761
00:51:41,892 --> 00:51:47,106
No, just down the street,
the Celinto Catayente Towers.

762
00:51:47,481 --> 00:51:49,900
It's quite a fine example, in fact.

763
00:51:50,067 --> 00:51:52,027
I recommend next time
you're up that way...

764
00:51:52,194 --> 00:51:56,782
...that you drop in
and take a ganders at it yourself.

765
00:52:03,748 --> 00:52:06,250
Hey, thanks for picking me up, man.

766
00:52:06,417 --> 00:52:09,420
Yeah, no problem.
I've been driving for like 15 hours straight...

767
00:52:09,587 --> 00:52:11,464
...So I could use the company.

768
00:52:11,630 --> 00:52:16,343
I know what you mean. I've been standing
in the same spot for five and a half hours.

769
00:52:16,510 --> 00:52:19,138
You know they made it illegal
to hitchhike in this state?

770
00:52:19,305 --> 00:52:23,017
Really? That must make it really tough.

771
00:52:23,184 --> 00:52:27,271
So, what's going on with you?
You a salesman, or...?

772
00:52:27,688 --> 00:52:31,859
No. No, I'm nothing.

773
00:52:32,026 --> 00:52:33,694
I am.

774
00:52:34,487 --> 00:52:35,988
- Yeah?
- I'm a salesman.

775
00:52:36,155 --> 00:52:38,991
- I'm gonna start my own company.
- Really?

776
00:52:39,158 --> 00:52:40,910
You want in?

777
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,248
No. I'm not--

778
00:52:46,415 --> 00:52:48,542
I don't really have any,
you know, money, or--

779
00:52:48,709 --> 00:52:51,462
You heard of this thing,
the 8 Minute Abs?

780
00:52:51,629 --> 00:52:54,381
Yeah, sure, 8 Minute Abs,
yeah, the exercise video.

781
00:52:54,548 --> 00:52:59,220
Yeah, well, this is gonna blow that
right out of the water. Listen to this.

782
00:53:00,221 --> 00:53:03,891
7 Minute Abs.

783
00:53:05,893 --> 00:53:09,355
Right. Yes, okay, all right.
I see where you're going.

784
00:53:09,522 --> 00:53:13,108
Think about it. You walk into a video store,
see 8 Minute Abs sitting there...

785
00:53:13,275 --> 00:53:17,154
...there's 7 Minute Abs right beside it.
Which one are you gonna pick, man?

786
00:53:17,321 --> 00:53:22,243
- I would go for the 7. Yeah.
- Bingo, man, bingo. 7 Minute Abs.

787
00:53:22,409 --> 00:53:25,830
And we guarantee just as good
a workout as the 8 Minute folk.

788
00:53:25,996 --> 00:53:28,374
You guarantee it? How do you do that?

789
00:53:28,541 --> 00:53:31,961
If you're not happy
with the first seven minutes...

790
00:53:32,127 --> 00:53:35,589
...we're gonna send you
the extra minute free.

791
00:53:35,756 --> 00:53:38,801
See, that's it. That's our motto.
That's where we're coming from.

792
00:53:38,968 --> 00:53:40,344
That's from A to B.

793
00:53:40,886 --> 00:53:42,972
That's right. That's good. That's good.

794
00:53:43,764 --> 00:53:46,767
Unless, of course,
somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs.

795
00:53:46,934 --> 00:53:49,228
Then you're in trouble, huh?

796
00:53:55,693 --> 00:53:58,487
No. No, no, not six.

797
00:53:58,654 --> 00:54:01,198
I said seven.
Nobody's coming up with six.

798
00:54:01,365 --> 00:54:02,783
Who works out in six minutes?

799
00:54:02,950 --> 00:54:07,204
You won't even get your heart going.
Not even a mouse on a wheel.

800
00:54:07,371 --> 00:54:09,290
- Good point.
- Seven's the key number here.

801
00:54:09,456 --> 00:54:12,793
- Think about it. 7-Elevens, seven dwarfs.
- Seven, yeah.

802
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,004
Seven, man, that's the number.

803
00:54:15,170 --> 00:54:17,464
Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch...

804
00:54:17,631 --> 00:54:20,175
...eating lots of sunflowers
on my uncle's ranch.

805
00:54:20,342 --> 00:54:23,470
You know that old children's tale
from the sea.

806
00:54:23,637 --> 00:54:26,098
It's like you're dreaming
about Gorgonzola cheese...

807
00:54:26,265 --> 00:54:29,977
...when it's clearly Brie time, baby.

808
00:54:30,477 --> 00:54:32,229
Step into my office.

809
00:54:32,396 --> 00:54:35,482
- Why?
- Because you're fucking fired.

810
00:54:36,191 --> 00:54:38,694
Yeah. You know what? I gotta pee.
I'm gonna pull over.

811
00:54:38,861 --> 00:54:43,866
Your car seats are making me itchy, man.
What are these made out of, cactus?

812
00:54:48,787 --> 00:54:52,708
I'm only waiting seven minutes total.

813
00:55:01,342 --> 00:55:05,179
- Hey, wait your turn.
- Sorry. I didn't get a--

814
00:55:07,598 --> 00:55:10,267
- We gotta get out of here.
- Wait a minute. Hey, hey.

815
00:55:12,645 --> 00:55:15,564
- This is a raid.
- No. No, no, no. I was peeing.

816
00:55:15,731 --> 00:55:17,691
That's what I was doing.
I was just peeing.

817
00:55:17,858 --> 00:55:20,694
- I was peeing too.
- Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing.

818
00:55:20,861 --> 00:55:24,698
- Let's go. Let's move it out.
- Let's go. In the truck, everybody.

819
00:55:26,075 --> 00:55:30,371
Holy Shit. Jimmy Shay, is that you?

820
00:55:45,302 --> 00:55:48,514
- No, really--
- Oh, my God.

821
00:55:48,889 --> 00:55:50,557
Ted?

822
00:55:53,394 --> 00:55:56,438
If you let me talk to you for one second
outside of the truck.

823
00:55:56,605 --> 00:55:59,984
- Into the truck. Get in the truck.
- Look, I still have to pee. I wasn't--

824
00:56:00,150 --> 00:56:01,819
- Let's go.
- Can I have a cup?

825
00:56:01,986 --> 00:56:03,612
See, hon? I told you he was gay.

826
00:56:03,779 --> 00:56:08,534
We'll be right back with more Cops,
live from the heartland.

827
00:56:33,517 --> 00:56:35,602
That grandmother of yours
is really something.

828
00:56:35,769 --> 00:56:37,813
Who, Magda?
No, Magda's not my grandmother.

829
00:56:37,980 --> 00:56:42,109
She rents the apartment next door.
Her husband died a couple years ago...

830
00:56:42,276 --> 00:56:45,904
...and I don't think she likes being alone,
So, you know, she just hangs out.

831
00:56:46,071 --> 00:56:49,366
- Doesn't cramp your style?
- Sadly, no.

832
00:56:49,783 --> 00:56:54,204
You know, sometimes I wish
I could be like Magda and not go home.

833
00:56:54,580 --> 00:56:59,460
Yeah, I'd like to bounce around for a while
and do some traveling.

834
00:56:59,626 --> 00:57:02,588
I don't know why anybody
would wanna bounce around...

835
00:57:02,755 --> 00:57:05,215
...you know,
if they had their own condo in Nepal.

836
00:57:05,382 --> 00:57:08,552
- I'd be there in a second.
- I'd sell it.

837
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,430
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Start fresh in a new place...

838
00:57:11,597 --> 00:57:13,724
...give up the architect game.

839
00:57:13,891 --> 00:57:18,270
Slow things down a bit,
read more books, see more movies.

840
00:57:18,437 --> 00:57:20,272
Are you a movie buff?

841
00:57:20,439 --> 00:57:24,151
Well, I try to be, but it's tough going
with all the crap they make today.

842
00:57:24,318 --> 00:57:27,446
I guess I just wish they made movies
like they used to make.

843
00:57:27,613 --> 00:57:31,241
You know, classics like The Karate Kid
or Harold and Maude.

844
00:57:33,827 --> 00:57:36,747
Harold and Maude
is my all-time favorite movie.

845
00:57:36,914 --> 00:57:40,292
- Don't bust my chops. I know it's corny--
- Pat, I'm not kidding.

846
00:57:40,459 --> 00:57:44,963
I think Harold and Maude is one of
the greatest love stories of our time.

847
00:57:48,175 --> 00:57:50,803
Here I thought I was the only one.

848
00:57:51,970 --> 00:57:55,182
You're too good to be true.
Come on, let's go dance.

849
00:58:00,020 --> 00:58:03,190
Man, they never look like you'd expect,
do they?

850
00:58:04,942 --> 00:58:08,529
That's probably how he got his victim
to drop his guard.

851
00:58:09,696 --> 00:58:11,740
Where'd they find the body?

852
00:58:12,032 --> 00:58:16,036
In a big red bag
on the front passenger seat.

853
00:58:16,203 --> 00:58:18,872
All hacked up.

854
00:58:19,164 --> 00:58:20,916
Gruesome.

855
00:58:21,458 --> 00:58:24,169
Real psycho, this one.

856
00:58:25,212 --> 00:58:29,049
Hey, you're a little worked up.
Let me do the talking.

857
00:58:32,678 --> 00:58:36,265
- I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy.
- Look, I didn't solicit any sex, okay?

858
00:58:36,431 --> 00:58:37,891
This is a huge misunderstanding.

859
00:58:38,058 --> 00:58:40,853
I was going out to pee,
I'm walking in the bushes...

860
00:58:41,019 --> 00:58:43,772
...I trip over this guy,
and there were all these cops and--

861
00:58:43,939 --> 00:58:47,693
Ted, Ted, Ted, it's okay. We believe you.

862
00:58:54,575 --> 00:58:58,662
The problem is,
we found your friend in the car.

863
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,165
Oh, the hitchhiker?

864
00:59:02,332 --> 00:59:04,751
That's what this is about? The hitchhiker?

865
00:59:06,211 --> 00:59:09,464
Oh, great. Just my luck.

866
00:59:09,631 --> 00:59:11,717
I get caught for everything.

867
00:59:11,884 --> 00:59:15,762
So you admit it?

868
00:59:16,054 --> 00:59:18,849
Yeah. Guilty as charged.

869
00:59:19,016 --> 00:59:21,768
Look, I know that you guys
have got a job to do, all right?

870
00:59:21,935 --> 00:59:25,188
And I'm really sorry. I did it. I admit it.

871
00:59:25,355 --> 00:59:30,068
You know, the guy even told me.
The hitchhiker told me it was illegal, so...

872
00:59:31,194 --> 00:59:32,738
Well...

873
00:59:35,449 --> 00:59:36,992
...can you tell us his name?

874
00:59:41,038 --> 00:59:42,998
No, I didn't catch it.

875
00:59:43,665 --> 00:59:47,669
Can we cut to the chase? I mean,
am I, like, in a lot of trouble here, or...?

876
00:59:48,462 --> 00:59:50,464
First, tell us why you did it.

877
00:59:50,631 --> 00:59:52,549
Why I did it?

878
00:59:54,843 --> 00:59:57,054
I don't know. Boredom?

879
00:59:58,931 --> 01:00:01,141
Guy turns out to be a blabbermouth.

880
01:00:01,308 --> 01:00:03,644
Just would not shut up. I mean, just--

881
01:00:03,810 --> 01:00:09,191
Ted, this wasn't your first time, was it?

882
01:00:10,609 --> 01:00:12,152
No.

883
01:00:12,986 --> 01:00:18,659
- How many are we talking here?
- Hitchhikers? My whole life?

884
01:00:19,660 --> 01:00:24,039
I don't know. Twenty-five, 50.
I mean, who keeps track?

885
01:00:24,998 --> 01:00:27,793
Hey, I know this is the Bible belt,
but where I come from...

886
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,045
...this is not that big a deal.

887
01:00:30,212 --> 01:00:32,005
- I mean--
- You son of a bitch.

888
01:00:33,173 --> 01:00:35,050
You're gonna fry.

889
01:00:36,093 --> 01:00:40,681
Hey. Hey. Take it easy. Cut it out.
What the hell are you doing? Take it easy.

890
01:00:40,847 --> 01:00:43,016
- You okay?
- What the hell is wrong with you?

891
01:00:43,183 --> 01:00:44,226
- You all right?
- Punk.

892
01:00:44,393 --> 01:00:45,936
Jesus.

893
01:01:06,873 --> 01:01:09,334
Your friend Tucker stopped by.

894
01:01:09,876 --> 01:01:11,378
Really?

895
01:01:12,212 --> 01:01:15,382
Okay. Hey, what does it look like today?

896
01:01:15,549 --> 01:01:18,176
It's fine. A little crazy in the afternoon.

897
01:01:19,761 --> 01:01:20,804
Hey, Tucker.

898
01:01:22,055 --> 01:01:23,432
What's up, doc?

899
01:01:24,891 --> 01:01:27,644
You look different.
Did you do something with your hair?

900
01:01:28,311 --> 01:01:30,856
The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped.

901
01:01:31,023 --> 01:01:33,275
Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great.

902
01:01:33,442 --> 01:01:37,487
- You don't think they look a little big?
- No, not at all. The bigger the better.

903
01:01:37,946 --> 01:01:39,364
But they could be brighter.

904
01:01:39,531 --> 01:01:44,786
There's nothing more sexy to me than a guy
with a mouthful of big pearly whites.

905
01:01:44,953 --> 01:01:45,996
- Really?
- Yeah.

906
01:01:46,163 --> 01:01:49,082
Come here.
You ever had one up the hatch in here?

907
01:01:49,249 --> 01:01:51,543
- Tucker, behave yourself.
- I'm sorry.

908
01:01:54,379 --> 01:01:56,214
What can I do for you today, my friend?

909
01:01:56,381 --> 01:02:00,260
I wanted to talk to you
about your friend Patrick.

910
01:02:00,427 --> 01:02:01,595
He's a nice guy, huh?

911
01:02:01,762 --> 01:02:05,307
Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out.
How long have you known him?

912
01:02:05,474 --> 01:02:07,559
Not very long, but I like him.

913
01:02:08,101 --> 01:02:12,439
Well, I know he's a little different,
but that's what I like about him.

914
01:02:12,606 --> 01:02:15,067
He dresses like a complete dork.

915
01:02:15,233 --> 01:02:17,611
He chews with his mouth open.

916
01:02:17,778 --> 01:02:22,616
He hardly ever says the right thing,
and he probably farts too.

917
01:02:23,033 --> 01:02:26,453
That's what you're looking for, is it?
A farter?

918
01:02:26,828 --> 01:02:28,705
No, I'm looking for a guy.

919
01:02:29,539 --> 01:02:34,044
Look, it's just that something struck me
as strange about him last night.

920
01:02:34,836 --> 01:02:36,546
He gave me this funny vibe.

921
01:02:37,214 --> 01:02:39,466
Anyway, I called some friends up north...

922
01:02:39,633 --> 01:02:42,969
...and they've never heard of an architect
named Patrick Healy.

923
01:02:43,428 --> 01:02:45,722
And he's not listed as a Harvard alumnus.

924
01:02:45,889 --> 01:02:47,432
- Fuck!
- Really?

925
01:02:48,642 --> 01:02:50,644
- That's strange.
- Yes, I thought so.

926
01:02:50,811 --> 01:02:54,106
Anyway, I hope you don't think
I'm being meddlesome.

927
01:02:54,272 --> 01:02:58,026
It's just that I think you should be careful
with this guy, that's all.

928
01:02:58,777 --> 01:02:59,945
I mean, let's face it.

929
01:03:00,112 --> 01:03:05,617
You're beautiful, and you've got money,
and you trust people.

930
01:03:06,076 --> 01:03:08,495
I'm just saying,
there's a lot of psychos out there.

931
01:03:08,662 --> 01:03:11,039
- Just be careful.
- Fucker.

932
01:03:11,206 --> 01:03:15,502
Look, Tucker, thank you.
I really appreciate you looking out for me.

933
01:03:16,670 --> 01:03:18,547
Okay, listen, I'll call you.

934
01:03:18,713 --> 01:03:21,174
- Okay.
- Okay.

935
01:03:25,512 --> 01:03:27,180
Damn.

936
01:03:32,352 --> 01:03:37,357
- You want me to get those for you?
- No. I have to learn to do this myself.

937
01:03:41,778 --> 01:03:43,363
Damn.

938
01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:48,535
My leg. Could you, Mary?

939
01:03:49,911 --> 01:03:51,580
Thank you.

940
01:03:52,414 --> 01:03:54,541
Wait. Wait.

941
01:03:55,834 --> 01:03:57,210
There.

942
01:04:05,677 --> 01:04:06,761
- See?
- Yeah.

943
01:04:06,928 --> 01:04:09,556
- I knew I could do it.
- I see. Here, let me get the door.

944
01:04:09,723 --> 01:04:11,057
Thank you.

945
01:04:11,766 --> 01:04:12,976
- See you later.
- Goodbye.

946
01:04:13,143 --> 01:04:15,896
Jane, can you get the door
for Tucker, please?

947
01:04:16,062 --> 01:04:18,190
Do you--? You want me to...?

948
01:04:18,356 --> 01:04:21,401
- No. I've done this a thousand times.
- Okay.

949
01:04:28,325 --> 01:04:30,076
Mr. Stroehmann...

950
01:04:30,243 --> 01:04:34,623
...on behalf of the entire South Carolina
Law Enforcement community...

951
01:04:34,789 --> 01:04:39,711
...I would like to apologize to you
for any pain or temporary inconvenience...

952
01:04:39,878 --> 01:04:41,880
...that you may have been caused.

953
01:04:45,926 --> 01:04:47,761
At approximately 10:40 this morning...

954
01:04:47,928 --> 01:04:51,348
...a man was apprehended
not far from where you were arrested.

955
01:04:51,514 --> 01:04:54,059
He was identified
as an escaped mental patient...

956
01:04:54,226 --> 01:04:57,479
...and subsequently he confessed
to the murder you're being held for.

957
01:04:57,646 --> 01:05:00,357
Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match.

958
01:05:00,523 --> 01:05:04,069
You mean I'm free to go?

959
01:05:04,819 --> 01:05:06,905
No harm, no foul.

960
01:05:08,949 --> 01:05:11,534
Oh, by the way,
there's someone there to see you.

961
01:05:15,872 --> 01:05:17,832
Shut up.

962
01:05:26,049 --> 01:05:29,094
You are a lucky son of a bitch,
you know that?

963
01:05:29,261 --> 01:05:33,098
- I am?
- Yeah. Didn't they tell you?

964
01:05:33,265 --> 01:05:37,477
That hitcher was about to cut your throat
before you decided to take a piss.

965
01:05:37,644 --> 01:05:39,896
Had a fucking horseshoe up your ass,
my man.

966
01:05:44,651 --> 01:05:47,487
You got that nervous-hive thing again?

967
01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:53,243
Yeah. Yeah, I do, Ted,
because I got some bad news.

968
01:05:54,369 --> 01:05:55,996
Are you okay?

969
01:05:59,624 --> 01:06:00,750
Ted, I'm dying.

970
01:06:05,505 --> 01:06:07,173
Oh, my--

971
01:06:08,466 --> 01:06:12,470
Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on.

972
01:06:12,637 --> 01:06:15,807
Jesus, it's just the humidity down here
or something. Come on.

973
01:06:15,974 --> 01:06:19,894
No. No, Ted, the bad news I got
is about our friend Healy.

974
01:06:20,061 --> 01:06:22,689
I sent my assistant to his apartment
with his last check.

975
01:06:22,856 --> 01:06:24,691
The landlady said when he came back...

976
01:06:24,858 --> 01:06:29,070
...he kept talking about
falling for some doctor named Mary.

977
01:06:30,030 --> 01:06:32,615
- Mary? My Mary?
- Well...

978
01:06:33,783 --> 01:06:37,746
Ted, here's Healy's address down there.

979
01:06:37,912 --> 01:06:42,042
In the future, do a little research before
you send a guy like that out into the woods.

980
01:06:42,208 --> 01:06:44,919
I mean, Jesus Chris, it's creepy, okay?

981
01:06:47,088 --> 01:06:49,799
You're not thinking about
going out with this guy again?

982
01:06:49,966 --> 01:06:51,968
Mary, honey, he's a psycho.

983
01:06:52,135 --> 01:06:56,389
- Mary, the guy's full of shit.
- Jesus, this sucks.

984
01:06:56,556 --> 01:06:59,059
It's too bad this had to happen.

985
01:06:59,809 --> 01:07:02,062
He was almost perfect.

986
01:07:02,604 --> 01:07:05,273
Mary, what did you say
Pat's last name was?

987
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,692
- Healy.
- Come here, come here, come here.

988
01:07:07,859 --> 01:07:09,527
- Come on. You gotta hear this.
- What?

989
01:07:09,694 --> 01:07:13,239
- That's the way us Healys were raised.
- So where the hell are you, Healy?

990
01:07:13,406 --> 01:07:16,701
I got a date tonight
with that Mary girl I told you about.

991
01:07:16,868 --> 01:07:18,411
- The sawbones?
- Yep.

992
01:07:18,578 --> 01:07:20,914
- Oh, my God, we hit the mother lode.
- You guys...

993
01:07:21,081 --> 01:07:23,291
...should we be listening to this?

994
01:07:24,084 --> 01:07:27,212
- She still think you're a fucking architect?
- Oh, yeah.

995
01:07:27,379 --> 01:07:29,005
Dumb shit.

996
01:07:29,172 --> 01:07:30,382
Mr. Perfect, huh?

997
01:07:30,548 --> 01:07:34,344
Hey, watch your mouth.
She's a great gal, Mary.

998
01:07:34,511 --> 01:07:38,973
- I'm the dumb shit for lying to her.
- Why didn't you just tell her the truth?

999
01:07:39,599 --> 01:07:40,642
I don't know.

1000
01:07:40,809 --> 01:07:44,437
I guess it seems that women today
are more impressed by the almighty buck...

1001
01:07:44,604 --> 01:07:49,275
...than some schmo who's spent 17 years
scraping by on Peace Corps wages.

1002
01:07:49,442 --> 01:07:50,485
Jesus, man.

1003
01:07:50,652 --> 01:07:53,279
If she's as special as you say,
she's gonna wanna hear...

1004
01:07:53,446 --> 01:07:54,781
...about the things you did.

1005
01:07:54,948 --> 01:07:58,827
"You could tell her about
the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan.

1006
01:07:58,993 --> 01:08:02,288
The orphan babies
who cried in your arms in...

1007
01:08:03,623 --> 01:08:04,999
...Romania.

1008
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:09,045
The hope you gave Freddy the leper
in Calcutta."

1009
01:08:09,212 --> 01:08:11,798
I'll be honest with you.
I'm a selfish prick.

1010
01:08:11,965 --> 01:08:15,510
I get a high
from helping all God's creatures.

1011
01:08:16,719 --> 01:08:19,639
An honest-to-goodness high.
! did all those things for myself.

1012
01:08:19,806 --> 01:08:21,641
Hey, hey, hey.

1013
01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:28,648
That's bullshit, man.

1014
01:08:28,815 --> 01:08:31,234
Hey. Hey, you were on the front line.

1015
01:08:32,152 --> 01:08:36,322
You remember?
The malaria, the typhoon fever?

1016
01:08:36,489 --> 01:08:40,160
That vicious strain of genital herpes?

1017
01:08:41,494 --> 01:08:43,037
Fuck.

1018
01:08:45,415 --> 01:08:49,627
Yeah, I cured all sorts of horrible illnesses
in Third World countries.

1019
01:08:49,794 --> 01:08:53,965
But the bottom line is, I'm not gonna use
my philanthropy as some kind of currency.

1020
01:08:54,132 --> 01:08:56,008
Especially after what I did.

1021
01:08:56,843 --> 01:08:59,262
I lied to that poor girl.

1022
01:09:01,305 --> 01:09:02,682
Lied, man.

1023
01:09:02,849 --> 01:09:06,811
Well, love will make you
do fucked-up things.

1024
01:09:06,978 --> 01:09:11,190
You said it, mister. I gotta run.

1025
01:09:12,358 --> 01:09:14,277
We're dicks.

1026
01:09:20,491 --> 01:09:22,326
It's him. It's him.

1027
01:09:22,493 --> 01:09:25,371
Oh, hi. Mary.

1028
01:09:26,038 --> 01:09:27,540
Hello.

1029
01:09:28,624 --> 01:09:30,418
Mary, look.

1030
01:09:32,170 --> 01:09:34,464
Look, there's something
I have to tell you.

1031
01:09:34,630 --> 01:09:37,091
I'm not the architect you--

1032
01:09:44,223 --> 01:09:47,351
- Okay, guys, let's huddle up.
- Come on, Jimmy.

1033
01:09:47,518 --> 01:09:49,395
Jimmy, I'm open. Hit me. Come on.

1034
01:10:00,865 --> 01:10:03,451
Exceptional, my ass.

1035
01:10:15,797 --> 01:10:20,718
Looks like I double-jumped you, Warren,
for the win. Pay up, big guy.

1036
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:25,765
- Coconut.
- Yeah, very good. Coconut.

1037
01:10:25,932 --> 01:10:27,767
Coconut.

1038
01:10:28,392 --> 01:10:29,894
Where's the rest of it, Warren?

1039
01:10:41,864 --> 01:10:43,324
Look at her.

1040
01:10:44,116 --> 01:10:48,579
She's more beautiful than I remember.
She's perfect.

1041
01:10:48,955 --> 01:10:52,375
Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mare.
Sorry I forgot my wallet.

1042
01:10:52,542 --> 01:10:56,170
- I feel like a dog.
- Don't worry about it. It was fun.

1043
01:11:02,677 --> 01:11:04,679
Fuck me.

1044
01:11:06,013 --> 01:11:08,265
How's my stomach taste?

1045
01:11:08,432 --> 01:11:10,601
"How's my stomach taste," she says.

1046
01:11:11,018 --> 01:11:13,521
Holy shit. Look, look. There's Warren.

1047
01:11:13,688 --> 01:11:15,773
Franks and beans.

1048
01:11:16,190 --> 01:11:18,234
- Frank and beans.
- Warren, you just ate.

1049
01:11:18,401 --> 01:11:21,362
Leave him alone.
He's just got a big appetite. Right, Warren?

1050
01:11:23,114 --> 01:11:24,365
I said you got a big--

1051
01:11:26,325 --> 01:11:28,494
Warren, Warren, Warren.

1052
01:11:28,953 --> 01:11:30,621
Yes.

1053
01:11:30,788 --> 01:11:33,791
Listen, you can't touch his ears
unless he trusts you. I'm sorry.

1054
01:11:33,958 --> 01:11:36,961
- Are you okay?
- Not to worry.

1055
01:11:37,169 --> 01:11:40,464
- So I'll see you tonight, right?
- Sure.

1056
01:11:43,551 --> 01:11:45,511
Come here, Warren. You okay?

1057
01:11:45,678 --> 01:11:47,388
- He broke it.
- I saw.

1058
01:11:48,514 --> 01:11:50,474
Okay. What are you waiting for? Let's go.

1059
01:11:50,641 --> 01:11:53,769
- What? No. I don't know what to say.
- What are you talking about?

1060
01:11:53,936 --> 01:11:57,523
Tell her the truth about Healy.
Blow the schmuck out of the water.

1061
01:11:57,690 --> 01:11:59,358
No, I can't.

1062
01:11:59,525 --> 01:12:03,237
I unleashed the psycho on her.
She's gonna be fucking pissed.

1063
01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:08,034
- Mary. Mary.
- No, no. Stop.

1064
01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:11,203
Mary?

1065
01:12:13,372 --> 01:12:17,293
Mary? Is that--? It is you.

1066
01:12:18,377 --> 01:12:22,173
- Who is that?
- Hi. It's Ted.

1067
01:12:22,339 --> 01:12:23,716
Ted?

1068
01:12:23,883 --> 01:12:26,427
Yeah, Ted from Rhode Island. Ted.

1069
01:12:26,594 --> 01:12:29,638
Te--? Oh, my God. Ted.

1070
01:12:29,805 --> 01:12:32,391
- Hey. Good, how are you?
- It's good to see you.

1071
01:12:32,558 --> 01:12:34,560
- Good to see you.
- How you been?

1072
01:12:34,727 --> 01:12:36,395
I'm...

1073
01:12:36,562 --> 01:12:38,397
I haven't seen you since...

1074
01:12:38,564 --> 01:12:40,441
Yeah, since...

1075
01:12:40,608 --> 01:12:44,528
- Senior prom.
- That's right, senior prom.

1076
01:12:44,695 --> 01:12:48,074
You got a great memory.
Oh, man, that was...

1077
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:50,576
Haven't thought about that in years.
Yeah.

1078
01:12:50,743 --> 01:12:53,537
So how's everything?

1079
01:12:54,914 --> 01:12:57,583
- Everything, you know.
- Oh, that's fine.

1080
01:12:57,750 --> 01:13:00,211
I was in and out of the hospital
in a couple of weeks.

1081
01:13:00,377 --> 01:13:02,338
It was not a big deal at all.

1082
01:13:02,505 --> 01:13:06,258
Now I'm good. Strong like bull. Really good.

1083
01:13:06,425 --> 01:13:08,803
- Hey. Hi, Warren.
- Hi, Ted.

1084
01:13:08,969 --> 01:13:12,181
- How are you?
- I'm-- How are you?

1085
01:13:12,932 --> 01:13:16,310
- I can't believe that he remembers you.
- Piggyback ride?

1086
01:13:16,477 --> 01:13:19,814
Oh, piggyb-- No. You know what?
I'll take a rain check this time, okay?

1087
01:13:19,980 --> 01:13:21,607
He never remembers anybody.

1088
01:13:21,774 --> 01:13:23,859
- It's amazing.
- Yeah.

1089
01:13:24,026 --> 01:13:25,569
So, what are you doing here?

1090
01:13:25,736 --> 01:13:28,322
- Do you work here, or--?
- Yeah, no, this is my office.

1091
01:13:28,489 --> 01:13:29,782
Well, it's up there.

1092
01:13:30,616 --> 01:13:33,953
So yeah, I was just out
on my lunch break with Warren. It's crazy.

1093
01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:36,747
- What are you doing here?
- Well, that's a funny story.

1094
01:13:36,914 --> 01:13:39,250
I was-- I decided to--

1095
01:13:39,416 --> 01:13:42,962
I got in the car with my friend,
and we just--

1096
01:13:43,129 --> 01:13:46,799
We came down to Florida, right?

1097
01:13:49,677 --> 01:13:51,470
Right.

1098
01:13:52,304 --> 01:13:54,682
Well, you look great.
You look really good.

1099
01:13:54,849 --> 01:13:57,643
I mean, what's the story?
Are you married? Do you have kids?

1100
01:13:57,810 --> 01:14:00,479
- No. No. Dodged a few bullets.
- Yeah?

1101
01:14:00,646 --> 01:14:04,692
Yeah. God, this is just so bizarre.

1102
01:14:04,859 --> 01:14:08,904
- I'm standing here with Mary Jensen.
- No, no, now it's Mary Matthews.

1103
01:14:09,071 --> 01:14:10,239
Oh, did you...?

1104
01:14:10,406 --> 01:14:13,742
No, no, no. I haven't walked
down that plank yet, no.

1105
01:14:13,909 --> 01:14:16,787
But it was this thing in college.

1106
01:14:16,954 --> 01:14:18,831
This creepy guy who...

1107
01:14:18,998 --> 01:14:21,917
Anyhow, there was a restraining order,
it got kind of ugly...

1108
01:14:22,084 --> 01:14:25,504
...and after Princeton, I decided,
"You know what? Be cautious.

1109
01:14:25,671 --> 01:14:28,132
Change your name.
Just kind of leave that behind."

1110
01:14:28,299 --> 01:14:30,259
- Right. Right.
- Just didn't need that.

1111
01:14:30,426 --> 01:14:32,678
- That sounds horrible.
- It was-- Yeah.

1112
01:14:32,845 --> 01:14:36,015
It was, but it's over, I think, so it's good.

1113
01:14:36,182 --> 01:14:39,518
Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Do you think you wanna, I don't know...

1114
01:14:39,685 --> 01:14:42,313
...go out to dinner?
You know, catch up on old times?

1115
01:14:43,105 --> 01:14:44,607
Didn't we just do that?

1116
01:14:48,319 --> 01:14:50,571
I'm fucking with you, Ted.

1117
01:14:54,033 --> 01:14:56,410
No, listen, I'd really-- I'd like to.

1118
01:14:56,577 --> 01:15:00,039
It'd be great,
but I sort of already have plans tonight.

1119
01:15:00,206 --> 01:15:03,292
- But I'm free tomorrow night.
- Yeah, sure. Or, you know--

1120
01:15:03,459 --> 01:15:06,378
Or you could blow off that jerk
you're going out with tonight...

1121
01:15:06,545 --> 01:15:07,796
...and come out with me.

1122
01:15:11,300 --> 01:15:13,552
What hotel are you staying at?

1123
01:15:13,719 --> 01:15:15,346
The Cardozo.

1124
01:15:17,473 --> 01:15:19,058
- Pick you up at 87?
- Sure.

1125
01:15:19,225 --> 01:15:20,351
- Okay.
- Okay.

1126
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:23,187
- Cool. See you.
- Bye.

1127
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,148
Look closely at this picture

1128
01:15:26,315 --> 01:15:28,692
Ted and Mary like before

1129
01:15:28,859 --> 01:15:31,153
Can you see her as Ted sees her

1130
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:33,572
And why he couldn't wait no more?

1131
01:15:33,739 --> 01:15:39,203
And if you still think he's being silly
Then you've still got more to see

1132
01:15:39,370 --> 01:15:43,540
Because this isn't just a date, folks
This is chemistry

1133
01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:46,335
And Mary

1134
01:15:46,794 --> 01:15:51,090
Well, there's just something about Mary

1135
01:16:00,266 --> 01:16:02,351
Banana, banana.

1136
01:16:02,518 --> 01:16:05,938
We're gonna be buying bananas tonight.

1137
01:16:06,105 --> 01:16:07,773
Why's that?

1138
01:16:07,940 --> 01:16:14,405
Back when I was your age, I always used to
make myself a big banana split after sex.

1139
01:16:14,571 --> 01:16:16,865
I think you're gonna need one tonight.

1140
01:16:17,032 --> 01:16:20,703
Don't get ahead of yourself.
You'll be eating a banana split before I do.

1141
01:16:20,869 --> 01:16:22,788
Don't bet on it.

1142
01:16:23,831 --> 01:16:25,249
Last time I had a Pap smear...

1143
01:16:25,416 --> 01:16:29,128
...the guy needed leather gloves
and an oyster shucker.

1144
01:16:32,131 --> 01:16:34,467
I am a little psyched.

1145
01:16:34,634 --> 01:16:38,554
I ran into this guy
I haven't seen since high school.

1146
01:16:39,138 --> 01:16:43,476
- An old flame?
- Kind of. Ted Stroehmann.

1147
01:16:43,643 --> 01:16:46,229
The sweetest guy in the world.

1148
01:16:46,396 --> 01:16:47,647
I mean, he was so cute.

1149
01:16:47,814 --> 01:16:52,402
He was so shy and clumsy,
and he had this huge mouth full of metal.

1150
01:16:52,568 --> 01:16:54,862
You know how I like braces.

1151
01:16:55,071 --> 01:16:57,198
Anyhow, we're going out tonight.

1152
01:16:57,657 --> 01:16:59,242
Oh, no.

1153
01:16:59,409 --> 01:17:02,620
God, that reminds me. I have to call
and cancel with what's-his-face.

1154
01:17:03,162 --> 01:17:04,205
What's-his-face?

1155
01:17:08,209 --> 01:17:11,004
- Who is it?
- It's Tucker.

1156
01:17:11,838 --> 01:17:13,715
- Tucker.
- Hello, how are you?

1157
01:17:13,881 --> 01:17:16,009
- Good, how are you?
- I'm fine, thank you.

1158
01:17:16,175 --> 01:17:19,262
- Look who's here.
- There she is.

1159
01:17:19,429 --> 01:17:22,515
I brought you
a little thirst quencher, Mag.

1160
01:17:22,682 --> 01:17:26,185
- Oh, are you sweet.
- No, I'm not.

1161
01:17:26,352 --> 01:17:28,521
I just wanna get you drunk
so you'll pass out...

1162
01:17:28,688 --> 01:17:30,982
...and I can give Mary a good rogering.

1163
01:17:31,983 --> 01:17:34,861
- You want me to pour you one?
- Thanks, but I have to be going.

1164
01:17:35,028 --> 01:17:38,823
- Unfortunately, this is not a social visit.
- Really? What's up?

1165
01:17:38,990 --> 01:17:42,493
Well, I've got a little more news
about your friend Healy.

1166
01:17:42,660 --> 01:17:44,287
Tucker, everything's okay.

1167
01:17:44,454 --> 01:17:47,373
He confessed everything.
He told me he's not an architect.

1168
01:17:47,540 --> 01:17:50,376
You were right.
But right now, I'm actually running behind--

1169
01:17:50,543 --> 01:17:52,128
Mary, the man's a killer.

1170
01:17:53,171 --> 01:17:54,714
- What?
- Yes.

1171
01:17:54,881 --> 01:17:57,050
I have a friend
in the Boston Police Department.

1172
01:17:57,216 --> 01:18:01,179
He faxed me this this morning.
I'll just give you the highlights.

1173
01:18:02,013 --> 01:18:04,057
After a short stint as a petty thief...

1174
01:18:04,223 --> 01:18:09,687
...Patrick R. Healy graduated
to armed robbery by the age of 14.

1175
01:18:09,854 --> 01:18:12,857
At 16, he committed his first murder.

1176
01:18:13,024 --> 01:18:16,277
A pretty teacher's aide
named Molly Pettygrove.

1177
01:18:16,444 --> 01:18:20,948
He was incarcerated until the age of 22,
when, despite a grim psychological profile...

1178
01:18:21,115 --> 01:18:23,284
...the state was forced to release him.

1179
01:18:23,451 --> 01:18:25,870
In his mid-20s
and again in his early 30s...

1180
01:18:26,037 --> 01:18:29,791
...he was suspected of homicides
in the states of Utah and Washington.

1181
01:18:29,957 --> 01:18:33,836
Unfortunately,
the bodies were so badly decomposed...

1182
01:18:34,003 --> 01:18:38,257
...there wasn't enough evidence
to hold him, and so on and so forth.

1183
01:18:38,758 --> 01:18:42,011
What am I gonna do?
I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour.

1184
01:18:42,178 --> 01:18:46,849
Well, just calm down.
Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry.

1185
01:18:47,016 --> 01:18:48,726
Tucker.

1186
01:18:49,602 --> 01:18:52,146
Why you two never hooked up
is beyond me.

1187
01:18:53,106 --> 01:18:55,233
I'm so lucky to have you as a friend.

1188
01:18:56,359 --> 01:18:59,988
Yes, well, don't get all gooey on me, now.
You're gonna give me a big head.

1189
01:19:00,154 --> 01:19:02,073
See, the important thing, doctor...

1190
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:04,909
...is you have to distance yourself
as much as possible...

1191
01:19:05,076 --> 01:19:06,786
...without pissing this psycho off.

1192
01:19:08,705 --> 01:19:10,415
Okay.

1193
01:19:10,874 --> 01:19:14,919
All right. I know what I've gotta do.
I know what I gotta do. Where's the phone?

1194
01:19:29,142 --> 01:19:31,269
You're gonna pay, fucker.

1195
01:19:49,245 --> 01:19:51,289
I don't know, Dom.

1196
01:19:51,831 --> 01:19:54,792
I don't feel good. I feel nervous.
I really feel nervous.

1197
01:19:54,959 --> 01:19:56,836
Oh, come on, relax. Relax.

1198
01:19:57,003 --> 01:19:59,005
- You been to the cash machine?
- Yeah.

1199
01:19:59,172 --> 01:20:02,216
Car clean? Plenty of gas?

1200
01:20:03,009 --> 01:20:06,888
- Breath. How's your breath?
- It's fine. I had some Altoids.

1201
01:20:07,055 --> 01:20:11,726
All right, I think you're all set.
So just go clean the pipes and it's a go.

1202
01:20:12,852 --> 01:20:14,854
You know, clean the pipes.

1203
01:20:15,271 --> 01:20:17,482
What do you mean, clean the pipes?

1204
01:20:18,191 --> 01:20:22,028
You choke the chicken
before any big date, don't you?

1205
01:20:22,445 --> 01:20:26,866
Tell me you spank the monkey
before any big date.

1206
01:20:27,700 --> 01:20:31,371
Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin
before a big date.

1207
01:20:31,537 --> 01:20:33,122
- No.
- Are you crazy?

1208
01:20:33,289 --> 01:20:35,583
That's like going out there
with a loaded gun.

1209
01:20:35,750 --> 01:20:38,378
Of course that's why you're nervous.

1210
01:20:38,544 --> 01:20:42,048
Oh, my dear friend, please sit. Please.

1211
01:20:42,215 --> 01:20:48,721
Look, after you've had sex with a girl
and you're lying in bed with her...

1212
01:20:48,888 --> 01:20:50,264
...are you nervous?

1213
01:20:50,431 --> 01:20:53,893
- No.
- No, you're not. Why?

1214
01:20:54,060 --> 01:20:56,145
Because I'm tired.

1215
01:20:56,312 --> 01:21:00,191
Wrong. It's because you ain't got
the baby batter on the brain anymore.

1216
01:21:00,358 --> 01:21:03,736
Jesus. That stuff will fuck your head up.

1217
01:21:04,445 --> 01:21:05,780
Look.

1218
01:21:05,947 --> 01:21:09,409
The most honest moment in a man's life
are the few minutes...

1219
01:21:09,575 --> 01:21:10,910
...after he's blown his load.

1220
01:21:11,077 --> 01:21:16,290
That is a medical fact, and the reason for it
is that you're no longer trying to get laid.

1221
01:21:16,457 --> 01:21:21,295
You're actually-- You're thinking like a girl,
and girls love that.

1222
01:21:21,796 --> 01:21:23,840
Holy shit.

1223
01:21:24,007 --> 01:21:26,426
I've been going out with a loaded gun.

1224
01:21:27,802 --> 01:21:29,262
People get hurt that way.

1225
01:22:03,129 --> 01:22:05,673
Healy. How smashing to see you.

1226
01:22:05,840 --> 01:22:08,217
- You're dead, motherfucker.
- Okay. Take it easy.

1227
01:22:08,384 --> 01:22:11,763
Who the fuck do you think you are,
making that shit up about me?

1228
01:22:12,555 --> 01:22:14,974
It's that stalker, Ted.

1229
01:22:15,308 --> 01:22:16,768
He got a hold of you, didn't he?

1230
01:22:16,934 --> 01:22:19,312
You're working for him, aren't you,
you little shit?

1231
01:22:19,479 --> 01:22:20,813
Who?

1232
01:22:28,237 --> 01:22:31,115
Either you come clean,
or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.

1233
01:22:31,282 --> 01:22:33,701
I love her, man.

1234
01:22:34,577 --> 01:22:38,289
- What?
- You heard me, goddamn it.

1235
01:22:40,792 --> 01:22:42,794
I love Mary, man.

1236
01:22:45,379 --> 01:22:49,133
I'm a phony. Just like you.

1237
01:22:49,425 --> 01:22:54,347
- What do you mean?
- mean I'm a fucking fraud.

1238
01:22:54,514 --> 01:22:57,642
I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man.

1239
01:22:58,726 --> 01:23:02,855
Who's been to Santiago, Chile,
twice in one year?

1240
01:23:03,356 --> 01:23:08,111
- I've never even been to Jersey.
- Okay, okay. Just take it easy.

1241
01:23:08,277 --> 01:23:10,822
Wait a minute.
You knew those people back at Harvard.

1242
01:23:10,988 --> 01:23:13,116
Fuck, I knew shit, man.

1243
01:23:13,282 --> 01:23:16,452
The only thing I knew
was that you were a fake...

1244
01:23:16,661 --> 01:23:18,496
...and I made up everything else.

1245
01:23:19,622 --> 01:23:21,124
My real name's Norm.

1246
01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:24,377
I'm a pizza-delivery boy.

1247
01:23:24,544 --> 01:23:28,005
Here. Look. Here's my ID.

1248
01:23:36,389 --> 01:23:37,557
Fuck me.

1249
01:23:47,359 --> 01:23:49,736
Yeah. Yeah.

1250
01:23:57,619 --> 01:23:59,579
Keep the change.

1251
01:24:56,636 --> 01:25:00,098
Where the hell did it go?

1252
01:25:02,809 --> 01:25:05,604
Hang on. Wait a second.

1253
01:25:22,204 --> 01:25:25,207
- Hello. How you doing?
- Hey. Hi. Good, how are you?

1254
01:25:25,373 --> 01:25:26,708
- Good.
- Good.

1255
01:25:26,875 --> 01:25:29,711
You are looking very beautiful.

1256
01:25:29,878 --> 01:25:31,546
Thank you.

1257
01:25:32,339 --> 01:25:33,507
What is that?

1258
01:25:36,635 --> 01:25:37,844
On your ear.

1259
01:25:38,595 --> 01:25:41,723
- Ear?
- No, your left ear.

1260
01:25:42,182 --> 01:25:43,850
Is that...?

1261
01:25:45,894 --> 01:25:47,020
Is that hair gel?

1262
01:25:49,898 --> 01:25:52,025
- Yeah.
- Great. I could use some.

1263
01:25:52,192 --> 01:25:54,778
- No, no, no. You don't have to. You don't--
- No, really.

1264
01:25:54,945 --> 01:25:56,613
I just ran out.

1265
01:26:00,617 --> 01:26:02,411
- How we doing over here?
- Okay.

1266
01:26:02,577 --> 01:26:04,287
- Little more wine?
- Sure.

1267
01:26:05,580 --> 01:26:09,042
So when you say killer, you mean--

1268
01:26:09,209 --> 01:26:12,629
- He's a murderer. Yeah.
- Like, an actual convicted murderer?

1269
01:26:12,796 --> 01:26:15,215
He killed people. I know, it's crazy.

1270
01:26:15,382 --> 01:26:18,343
- And, what, did he ever go to jail, or he's--?
- Yeah, in Boston.

1271
01:26:18,510 --> 01:26:20,637
- He spent-- I don't know how long.
- He got out?

1272
01:26:20,804 --> 01:26:22,597
Well, it's obvious. The system sucks.

1273
01:26:22,764 --> 01:26:25,183
The guy's walking the streets.
I'm kissing him.

1274
01:26:25,350 --> 01:26:29,229
Right, but you didn't
do anything else, right?

1275
01:26:29,396 --> 01:26:31,731
- What?
- mean, you didn't...

1276
01:26:34,568 --> 01:26:36,278
- No, no, no.
- No, okay.

1277
01:26:36,445 --> 01:26:38,738
- God, I couldn't live with myself.
- No, I mean--

1278
01:26:38,905 --> 01:26:42,868
I only went out with him a couple times,
but, you know, just the thought of that...

1279
01:26:45,287 --> 01:26:48,206
I shouldn't be putting this all on you.
I'm sorry.

1280
01:26:48,373 --> 01:26:53,587
- We haven't seen each other in so long.
- No, it's just I feel really bad.

1281
01:26:53,753 --> 01:26:56,631
I'm tired of talking about stalkers.
Let's talk about you.

1282
01:26:58,758 --> 01:27:01,011
Are you okay? Yeah?

1283
01:27:01,178 --> 01:27:03,430
- Do you want some water?
- No, I'm good.

1284
01:27:04,890 --> 01:27:07,517
- Hey, Tracy, how are the twins?
- Fuck you, Norm.

1285
01:27:07,684 --> 01:27:10,812
That's it,
I like It when you talk dirty to me, man.

1286
01:27:11,813 --> 01:27:13,023
Here you go, big guy.

1287
01:27:13,899 --> 01:27:16,067
Come on, cough it up, chompers.

1288
01:27:23,241 --> 01:27:25,785
So how the hell did you meet Mary?

1289
01:27:26,786 --> 01:27:28,246
It was just dumb luck, really.

1290
01:27:28,413 --> 01:27:31,917
I delivered a pie to her and she
answered the door in her nightgown...

1291
01:27:32,083 --> 01:27:35,462
...and, wow, that was it for me.

1292
01:27:35,629 --> 01:27:38,465
I went home that night,
shaved my beard, and a week later...

1293
01:27:38,632 --> 01:27:41,301
...I'm laid out in her office
with a broken back.

1294
01:27:41,468 --> 01:27:44,179
Broken back? How'd you do that?

1295
01:27:44,346 --> 01:27:47,140
A friend. Baseball bat.

1296
01:27:47,557 --> 01:27:49,309
Touché.

1297
01:27:52,395 --> 01:27:54,189
You want another one?

1298
01:27:55,148 --> 01:27:58,276
Sure. Yeah. Hey, Docky.

1299
01:27:58,443 --> 01:28:01,821
- Couple more nitrate-sicles, please.
- Two corn dogs coming up.

1300
01:28:01,988 --> 01:28:05,366
You know, I don't think that they have
enough meats on sticks.

1301
01:28:05,533 --> 01:28:08,536
No, seriously. If you think about it,
they have plenty of sweets.

1302
01:28:08,703 --> 01:28:12,165
They have lollipops,
they have Fudgsicles, they have Popsicles...

1303
01:28:12,332 --> 01:28:14,501
...but they don't have
any other meat on sticks.

1304
01:28:14,667 --> 01:28:17,712
- Yes, you don't see many meats on sticks.
- Absolutely not.

1305
01:28:17,879 --> 01:28:22,008
You know what I'd like to see?
I'd like to see more meats in a cone.

1306
01:28:22,175 --> 01:28:26,930
You don't hardly ever see that. You know,
that's an idea I think is waiting to pop.

1307
01:28:27,096 --> 01:28:30,683
Just like a nice, you know, nice, big,
oversize waffle-cone...

1308
01:28:30,850 --> 01:28:33,228
-...stuffed full of chopped liver.
- Chopped liver.

1309
01:28:33,394 --> 01:28:34,562
Exactly.

1310
01:28:35,939 --> 01:28:37,815
- Too bad you don't live here, Ted.
- Yeah?

1311
01:28:37,982 --> 01:28:40,568
Yeah. We have a lot in common.

1312
01:28:42,695 --> 01:28:44,656
Well, you know, maybe...

1313
01:28:44,822 --> 01:28:48,535
Have you ever thought about
maybe moving back up to Rhode Island?

1314
01:28:48,701 --> 01:28:52,664
I thought about it, but I got too much
of a good thing going on here.

1315
01:28:52,830 --> 01:28:57,752
I got a great practice,
I like the people I work with, and Warren.

1316
01:28:58,253 --> 01:29:01,798
You know, maybe you should just, like,
move down here and marry me.

1317
01:29:06,803 --> 01:29:10,807
- So you're a writer.
- Yeah, well, I'm trying to be.

1318
01:29:11,766 --> 01:29:14,852
Well, the good thing about writing
is you can do it anywhere.

1319
01:29:15,019 --> 01:29:16,563
That's true.

1320
01:29:18,565 --> 01:29:23,236
How about you? How did you manage
to stay single all these years?

1321
01:29:24,237 --> 01:29:30,743
Well, I'm bisexual, so that's hard
for a lot of guys to understand.

1322
01:29:32,245 --> 01:29:33,955
- Well--
- You gonna smoke that?

1323
01:29:37,125 --> 01:29:40,253
You know,
I read somewhere that most women...

1324
01:29:40,420 --> 01:29:44,173
...if you really ask them honestly,
have tendencies towards...

1325
01:29:44,340 --> 01:29:48,469
-I mean, everybody has a bit of--
- Ted, I'm fucking with you.

1326
01:29:49,220 --> 01:29:50,805
Yeah.

1327
01:29:52,432 --> 01:29:55,143
Stalking motherfucker.

1328
01:29:55,310 --> 01:29:59,147
I know. It sickens me.

1329
01:29:59,314 --> 01:30:02,942
Actually, I did almost get married once.

1330
01:30:05,194 --> 01:30:06,904
What happened?

1331
01:30:07,780 --> 01:30:10,158
Well, he was a really great guy.

1332
01:30:10,450 --> 01:30:12,452
He lived up north, and...

1333
01:30:13,286 --> 01:30:15,079
Come on, let's go.

1334
01:30:19,792 --> 01:30:21,419
Here you go.

1335
01:30:38,186 --> 01:30:41,272
Wait. How many is this?

1336
01:30:42,440 --> 01:30:44,317
- Four.
- Four?

1337
01:30:44,484 --> 01:30:47,737
That seems like an awful lot of speed
to give one little pooch.

1338
01:30:47,904 --> 01:30:51,658
- Are you sure it won't kill him?
- I never said that.

1339
01:30:54,577 --> 01:30:56,663
Baby.

1340
01:31:02,335 --> 01:31:04,003
Good, good, good.

1341
01:31:04,587 --> 01:31:10,009
And so then it was over.
We really haven't spoken since.

1342
01:31:10,426 --> 01:31:13,304
Wow, sounds like he was almost perfect.

1343
01:31:14,764 --> 01:31:16,557
Almost.

1344
01:31:18,768 --> 01:31:21,521
Hey, you wanna go upstairs
and watch SportsCenter?

1345
01:31:23,773 --> 01:31:26,776
You know, I think I'm just gonna quit
while I'm ahead.

1346
01:31:26,943 --> 01:31:29,278
You're not that far ahead, Ted.

1347
01:31:36,494 --> 01:31:38,413
Magda.

1348
01:31:39,205 --> 01:31:40,540
What are you doing?

1349
01:31:40,707 --> 01:31:43,209
Hi, hon. Just straightening up.

1350
01:31:48,131 --> 01:31:49,340
Put that down.

1351
01:31:51,843 --> 01:31:53,636
Magda.

1352
01:31:54,220 --> 01:31:55,888
Thanks, doll.

1353
01:31:58,224 --> 01:32:00,393
Magda. Magda.

1354
01:32:00,560 --> 01:32:03,229
Honey, where is Puffy?

1355
01:32:03,396 --> 01:32:05,565
He was being a pest.
I put him in the bathroom.

1356
01:32:05,732 --> 01:32:07,233
Really?

1357
01:32:08,651 --> 01:32:10,278
Ted?

1358
01:32:10,987 --> 01:32:13,948
Can you do me a favor?
Would you mind letting the dog out?

1359
01:32:14,115 --> 01:32:16,659
I think I should have a talk
with Magda here.

1360
01:32:16,826 --> 01:32:18,494
Sure, yeah.

1361
01:32:21,289 --> 01:32:22,498
- Over here.
- Where?

1362
01:32:22,665 --> 01:32:24,876
- Here. Fine.
- Good. What's going on?

1363
01:32:25,501 --> 01:32:27,128
More cleaning.

1364
01:32:27,420 --> 01:32:29,756
- How much coffee did you have tonight?
- None.

1365
01:32:32,967 --> 01:32:34,594
Mary?

1366
01:32:35,595 --> 01:32:37,805
What kind of dog is Puffy?

1367
01:32:37,972 --> 01:32:42,059
- Border terrier.
- Border terrier. Like Beniji.

1368
01:32:51,527 --> 01:32:53,279
Hey.

1369
01:32:53,738 --> 01:32:55,281
Hey.

1370
01:32:55,448 --> 01:32:59,076
Are you the little guy
making all that big noise?

1371
01:33:05,291 --> 01:33:06,334
Oh, Ted!

1372
01:33:16,886 --> 01:33:17,928
Puffy, stop it!

1373
01:33:20,973 --> 01:33:22,641
Take a little bit of this.

1374
01:33:25,019 --> 01:33:26,854
Puffy. Puffy.

1375
01:33:33,694 --> 01:33:34,737
Puffy!

1376
01:33:45,539 --> 01:33:47,375
Ted.

1377
01:33:50,878 --> 01:33:52,213
Puffy.

1378
01:33:56,842 --> 01:33:58,386
Puffy!

1379
01:33:59,428 --> 01:34:02,723
Puffy! Puffy! Puffy!

1380
01:34:08,437 --> 01:34:10,565
How do you know that I'm right?

1381
01:34:10,731 --> 01:34:14,360
Well, you know. No, I don't.

1382
01:34:14,527 --> 01:34:17,238
- You want a grape?
- A grape? Sure.

1383
01:34:18,531 --> 01:34:20,366
- Ready?
- Yeah.

1384
01:34:20,992 --> 01:34:24,370
All net. All net. We make a good team.

1385
01:34:54,358 --> 01:34:55,943
Hey. Come on. Want a go?

1386
01:34:56,110 --> 01:34:58,029
- Closer?
- Don't be afraid. It's all right.

1387
01:34:58,195 --> 01:35:02,074
Get in closer. That's good. Don't be afraid.
Get right in there. A little bit more.

1388
01:35:02,241 --> 01:35:05,703
Good. He'll be fine.
Mary, you're being overprotective.

1389
01:35:38,945 --> 01:35:41,030
No, no, no. We already-- We got--

1390
01:35:50,414 --> 01:35:52,166
Come on, come on.

1391
01:35:56,462 --> 01:35:58,798
Warren. Warren.

1392
01:35:58,965 --> 01:36:01,425
- Warren.
- Warren.

1393
01:36:03,678 --> 01:36:05,638
Warren.

1394
01:36:08,140 --> 01:36:11,644
- Warren.
- Warren, come here. Stop.

1395
01:36:14,146 --> 01:36:16,482
I'm okay. I'm okay.

1396
01:36:16,649 --> 01:36:19,235
Hey. Hey.

1397
01:36:20,111 --> 01:36:23,489
- It's his fault. He hit me with that stuff.
- Here, let me help with that.

1398
01:36:23,656 --> 01:36:25,616
Warren! Warren!

1399
01:36:50,391 --> 01:36:53,853
I didn't do it. He got in the way.

1400
01:36:54,020 --> 01:36:56,647
I know, I know, I know.
Does anybody have any pliers?

1401
01:36:56,814 --> 01:37:00,484
Needle-nose, otherwise? Anything?

1402
01:37:09,368 --> 01:37:10,953
Hey.

1403
01:37:11,620 --> 01:37:16,834
Flowers are for you, ball is for Warren.
Had a friend FedEx it from Boston.

1404
01:37:17,001 --> 01:37:19,879
Signed by Tony Conigliaro.

1405
01:37:20,046 --> 01:37:23,716
Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me?

1406
01:37:25,885 --> 01:37:27,386
What?

1407
01:37:28,637 --> 01:37:30,723
What are you talking about?

1408
01:37:31,307 --> 01:37:33,768
I got an anonymous letter.

1409
01:37:35,102 --> 01:37:36,729
It's not true, right, Ted?

1410
01:37:41,067 --> 01:37:46,072
Well, it's an interesting thing
that happened. ll...

1411
01:37:47,406 --> 01:37:49,575
Yeah, it's true, but it's not--

1412
01:37:49,742 --> 01:37:52,495
Okay. Get out.

1413
01:37:53,079 --> 01:37:55,998
Mary, wait.
First of all, I didn't know that this guy was--

1414
01:37:56,165 --> 01:37:57,917
What, that he was a murderer?

1415
01:37:58,084 --> 01:38:00,461
That, yeah,
in addition to many other things.

1416
01:38:00,628 --> 01:38:03,589
I mean, I didn't know anything
about the guy. I hardly know him.

1417
01:38:03,756 --> 01:38:05,174
How could you do that, Ted?

1418
01:38:05,341 --> 01:38:09,929
How could you have some guy
you don't even know spy on me?

1419
01:38:10,429 --> 01:38:12,723
What were you trying to do?

1420
01:38:14,100 --> 01:38:17,269
Trick me into feeling something for you?

1421
01:38:20,189 --> 01:38:22,399
No. I didn't--

1422
01:38:22,608 --> 01:38:24,276
I didn't wanna trick you.

1423
01:38:26,112 --> 01:38:28,948
Just leave. Okay?

1424
01:38:30,366 --> 01:38:31,408
Mary.

1425
01:38:32,451 --> 01:38:34,036
Go.

1426
01:38:44,338 --> 01:38:48,008
I did it because I never stopped
thinking about you.

1427
01:38:48,843 --> 01:38:52,930
And if I didn't find you, I knew that my life
would never, ever be good again.

1428
01:39:37,141 --> 01:39:38,517
Hey.

1429
01:39:38,726 --> 01:39:41,478
Healy. You in there?

1430
01:39:46,817 --> 01:39:48,360
Hello?

1431
01:40:03,876 --> 01:40:08,714
And it was going along just fine
until you showed up.

1432
01:40:10,799 --> 01:40:13,469
Holy shit.

1433
01:40:13,761 --> 01:40:16,680
This is a pretty nice place.

1434
01:40:17,431 --> 01:40:20,226
Sully, what the fuck happened?

1435
01:40:20,392 --> 01:40:23,687
- Hey, surprise.
- Hey, peace, man. Come on.

1436
01:40:23,854 --> 01:40:25,773
- You fucked me, man.
- Wait. Come on.

1437
01:40:25,940 --> 01:40:30,277
- Man, don't do anything rash now, buddy.
- Who the fuck is this guy?

1438
01:40:31,779 --> 01:40:35,574
That's Norm. He's a pizza boy.
He's in love with Mary too.

1439
01:40:36,242 --> 01:40:37,451
Look, come on, man.

1440
01:40:37,868 --> 01:40:41,705
All right, look, I think everybody
could use a drink right now.

1441
01:40:41,872 --> 01:40:43,207
I don't want a drink.

1442
01:40:43,708 --> 01:40:46,669
- Fuck you.
- Hey, hey, hey, look.

1443
01:40:47,169 --> 01:40:49,839
You asked me to follow around your girl
and I did.

1444
01:40:50,673 --> 01:40:55,052
And then the truth is, I started to like her.

1445
01:40:56,137 --> 01:40:59,807
And that's when I realized I couldn't
in good conscience bring myself to do it.

1446
01:41:01,267 --> 01:41:02,309
Do what?

1447
01:41:03,310 --> 01:41:05,855
Turn her over to a violent stalker.

1448
01:41:06,022 --> 01:41:09,108
Oh, I'm a stalker?
You're calling me a violent stalker?

1449
01:41:09,275 --> 01:41:12,862
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- You're a sick fuck.

1450
01:41:14,655 --> 01:41:16,115
- Hey, fuck you.
- Fuck you.

1451
01:41:16,282 --> 01:41:18,534
You just can't take the fact
that it was my turn.

1452
01:41:18,701 --> 01:41:21,704
- Your turn?
- Yeah, that's right. My turn.

1453
01:41:22,455 --> 01:41:25,124
Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary?

1454
01:41:25,750 --> 01:41:29,545
Just because you didn't get her, you didn't
have to blow us both out of the water.

1455
01:41:30,046 --> 01:41:31,505
What are you talking about?

1456
01:41:31,964 --> 01:41:34,884
You're gonna tell me
you didn't write her an anonymous letter...

1457
01:41:35,051 --> 01:41:37,219
...telling her about
our whole deal together?

1458
01:41:38,012 --> 01:41:39,055
What letter?

1459
01:41:40,556 --> 01:41:42,141
Come on.

1460
01:41:43,809 --> 01:41:44,852
It was you.

1461
01:41:48,230 --> 01:41:50,316
You sent the letter.

1462
01:41:50,608 --> 01:41:52,318
It was you.

1463
01:41:52,651 --> 01:41:56,530
We had a deal. You said you wouldn't
fuck me and I wouldn't fuck you...

1464
01:41:56,697 --> 01:42:00,201
...until we got this fuck
out of the fucking picture.

1465
01:42:00,367 --> 01:42:03,162
- You crossed the line, man.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

1466
01:42:03,329 --> 01:42:06,874
You're getting crazy now.
Why would I cross the line?

1467
01:42:07,833 --> 01:42:10,252
You probably did it yourself,
you piece of shit.

1468
01:42:10,419 --> 01:42:13,964
Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense.
Why would I rat myself out?

1469
01:42:14,131 --> 01:42:16,133
Like I'm gonna
try to figure out some guy...

1470
01:42:16,300 --> 01:42:19,804
...whose idea of courting
is blowing farts in her face.

1471
01:42:19,970 --> 01:42:25,518
- You were following us.
- Don't flatter yourself. I was following her.

1472
01:42:27,103 --> 01:42:29,188
I always do.

1473
01:42:29,647 --> 01:42:33,192
How the hell do you think
I got rid of the last guy, Brett?

1474
01:42:33,901 --> 01:42:39,323
Wait. Brett? Are you saying that Brett
didn't say those things about Warren?

1475
01:42:40,491 --> 01:42:44,370
Are you shitting me?
Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes?

1476
01:42:44,537 --> 01:42:47,039
He was like an Eagle Scout.

1477
01:42:47,289 --> 01:42:51,335
Wait a minute. You two should be kissing
my fucking hairy beanbag, you know?

1478
01:42:51,502 --> 01:42:54,630
Because if it wasn't for me,
she might have married that schmuck.

1479
01:42:57,049 --> 01:42:58,884
I feel sick.

1480
01:42:59,385 --> 01:43:01,387
Both of you are just...

1481
01:43:02,513 --> 01:43:04,306
I'm out of here.

1482
01:43:05,266 --> 01:43:06,976
Yeah.

1483
01:43:22,992 --> 01:43:24,285
Oh, my--

1484
01:43:24,910 --> 01:43:25,953
Woogie?

1485
01:43:26,745 --> 01:43:28,747
Who the hell is Woogie?

1486
01:43:31,834 --> 01:43:33,461
Hello.

1487
01:43:35,337 --> 01:43:36,839
What are you doing here?

1488
01:43:38,090 --> 01:43:41,343
Did you get my letter, Mare?
The one about Ted?

1489
01:43:43,429 --> 01:43:44,472
You sent that?

1490
01:43:47,725 --> 01:43:50,853
I was worried about you.

1491
01:43:51,020 --> 01:43:55,065
Woogie, you know you're not
supposed to be within 400 yards of me.

1492
01:43:55,232 --> 01:43:58,068
Yeah, I know. I do. In fact, you know...

1493
01:43:58,235 --> 01:44:00,905
...that's what I really wanted
to talk to you about.

1494
01:44:01,071 --> 01:44:07,203
You know that I have actually been through
nine years of intensive psychotherapy.

1495
01:44:07,369 --> 01:44:11,373
And you know something?
You were absolutely right. I needed help.

1496
01:44:12,124 --> 01:44:16,712
That's great, Woogie.
I mean, I'm glad you're doing better.

1497
01:44:16,879 --> 01:44:18,464
You look...

1498
01:44:19,215 --> 01:44:21,425
- You look good.
- Thank you.

1499
01:44:21,884 --> 01:44:24,845
Except for the rash thing's still there,
right?

1500
01:44:25,012 --> 01:44:29,600
Yes. You noticed, huh?
These are called love blisters.

1501
01:44:29,767 --> 01:44:35,189
They went away for a little while,
but then you came back in my life, milady.

1502
01:44:36,607 --> 01:44:41,529
Woogie, I did not come back
into your life. Okay?

1503
01:44:41,695 --> 01:44:44,532
I don't even know how you found me.
Let's not forget, here.

1504
01:44:44,698 --> 01:44:47,535
You put me through a lot of bullshit,
okay?

1505
01:44:47,701 --> 01:44:52,122
I had to change my name,
I had to go to court, I moved.

1506
01:44:52,289 --> 01:44:54,375
I mean, you stole all of my shoes.

1507
01:44:55,459 --> 01:44:58,295
What? What are you talking about?

1508
01:44:58,462 --> 01:45:00,714
Woogie, I caught you red-handed.

1509
01:45:02,049 --> 01:45:04,718
I was in a weird place then, Mary.

1510
01:45:05,386 --> 01:45:09,348
Come on. Okay? Come on.

1511
01:45:09,515 --> 01:45:13,602
Give me a break here, okay?
I was a little nuts, a little--

1512
01:45:13,769 --> 01:45:15,854
But I'm fine.

1513
01:45:16,021 --> 01:45:19,984
Woogie, you're starting
to make me a little nervous.

1514
01:45:21,151 --> 01:45:23,654
I'm making you feel nervous?
Nervous? What's that?

1515
01:45:23,821 --> 01:45:26,907
I wouldn't know anything about nervous.
Jeez.

1516
01:45:27,074 --> 01:45:30,536
You ever had a whitehead
on your eyeball, Mary?

1517
01:45:30,703 --> 01:45:33,497
Woogie, I'm asking you to leave.

1518
01:45:33,664 --> 01:45:37,918
Oh, Mary.
Oh, Mary, you got this all wrong.

1519
01:45:38,085 --> 01:45:40,045
I'm not going anywhere.

1520
01:45:41,505 --> 01:45:44,341
Not until I get something
to remember you by.

1521
01:45:46,510 --> 01:45:48,887
Get your hands out of there.

1522
01:45:49,722 --> 01:45:51,515
- No. Woogie.
- Yeah.

1523
01:45:51,682 --> 01:45:52,975
Let go.

1524
01:45:53,726 --> 01:45:55,311
Stop it. Stop!

1525
01:45:55,477 --> 01:45:59,815
Just one pair. You owe me that,
you heartless bitch.

1526
01:46:00,441 --> 01:46:03,485
What the--? Hey.

1527
01:46:08,449 --> 01:46:11,827
Dom? You're pathetic.

1528
01:46:12,286 --> 01:46:16,165
Tucker, what happened to your crutches?

1529
01:46:16,749 --> 01:46:18,542
Yeah, well...

1530
01:46:18,709 --> 01:46:21,003
Yes, very good query, Mary. Well done.

1531
01:46:21,170 --> 01:46:23,631
Come on. Tell her the truth, pizza boy.

1532
01:46:27,593 --> 01:46:29,553
Name's Norm.

1533
01:46:29,720 --> 01:46:33,432
I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey.

1534
01:46:35,059 --> 01:46:38,937
Oh, man.
This is like group therapy or something.

1535
01:46:39,104 --> 01:46:40,898
Dom. What are you doing here?

1536
01:46:41,440 --> 01:46:45,152
You stole her from me,
and now I want her back.

1537
01:46:45,319 --> 01:46:47,863
I stole her from you?
What are you talking about?

1538
01:46:48,947 --> 01:46:52,034
Woogie. How many times
did I tell you this at Princeton?

1539
01:46:52,618 --> 01:46:55,704
- Woogie?
- Ted and I had one date.

1540
01:46:55,871 --> 01:46:58,457
- You and I were already broken up.
- You're Woogie?

1541
01:46:59,416 --> 01:47:01,627
Dom Woganowski.

1542
01:47:03,295 --> 01:47:07,800
But you're married.
You have a wife, beautiful kids.

1543
01:47:07,966 --> 01:47:10,761
Ted, if you love them so much,
please, be my guest.

1544
01:47:10,928 --> 01:47:15,933
All right, what the hell is going on here?
Can someone explain it to me?

1545
01:47:16,392 --> 01:47:20,062
Look, we're all in love with Mary.

1546
01:47:21,230 --> 01:47:22,606
Oh, God.

1547
01:47:23,232 --> 01:47:26,485
If I may, I have a proposal.

1548
01:47:26,985 --> 01:47:29,947
I say none of us leaves this room...

1549
01:47:30,114 --> 01:47:33,325
...until our young Mary here
stops jerking us around...

1550
01:47:33,492 --> 01:47:37,413
...and decides, once and for all,
who she really wants.

1551
01:47:39,665 --> 01:47:42,543
Now, Mary, I know this is tough...

1552
01:47:43,210 --> 01:47:48,340
...but you really will be doing them all
a great favor to tell them the truth about us.

1553
01:47:48,507 --> 01:47:51,885
Are you crazy? What makes you think
I would pick you anyhow?

1554
01:47:52,052 --> 01:47:54,221
I mean, you're a murderer.

1555
01:47:56,682 --> 01:48:02,146
Well, I may have been blowing
a little smoke up your ass there, Mary.

1556
01:48:02,312 --> 01:48:03,897
I'm sorry.

1557
01:48:06,859 --> 01:48:10,112
- Touchdown.
- Hi, Mary.

1558
01:48:10,863 --> 01:48:14,158
- Brett?
- What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?

1559
01:48:14,324 --> 01:48:16,535
I'm in town to play the Dolphins,
you dumb-ass.

1560
01:48:16,702 --> 01:48:20,539
Yeah. I called him, Mary. I told him
to pick up Warren and get down here.

1561
01:48:20,706 --> 01:48:24,835
See, your friend Tucker
was lying about a couple of other things.

1562
01:48:25,002 --> 01:48:27,171
Brett never said
those bad things about Warren.

1563
01:48:27,337 --> 01:48:29,047
He loves Warren.

1564
01:48:29,214 --> 01:48:33,677
And from what he told me on the phone
just now, he loves you too.

1565
01:48:33,844 --> 01:48:36,096
He's the guy you should be with.

1566
01:48:40,225 --> 01:48:43,937
That's right, Mary.
You know I'll always be true to you.

1567
01:48:44,271 --> 01:48:47,399
Shit. This isn't fair. Jesus.

1568
01:48:47,566 --> 01:48:49,693
You know, I feel like an idiot.

1569
01:48:50,235 --> 01:48:55,365
See, I realized something today.
I'm no better than any of these guys.

1570
01:48:55,866 --> 01:48:59,244
I mean, none of them love you, really.

1571
01:49:00,370 --> 01:49:04,750
They're just fixated on you because of how
you make them feel about themselves.

1572
01:49:04,917 --> 01:49:07,878
I mean, that's not real love. That's...

1573
01:49:08,879 --> 01:49:10,172
I don't know what that is.

1574
01:49:11,632 --> 01:49:14,760
Please, Mary, don't listen to him.

1575
01:49:14,927 --> 01:49:17,596
This is just another one of his
stupid little ploys.

1576
01:49:17,763 --> 01:49:20,098
You know, Stroehmann,
you are so full of shit.

1577
01:49:20,265 --> 01:49:24,144
- Yeah. You're the biggest stalker of us all.
- You're gonna stand here and tell me...

1578
01:49:24,311 --> 01:49:26,730
...that you're not nuts about this girl?

1579
01:49:27,272 --> 01:49:29,191
Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.

1580
01:49:33,111 --> 01:49:35,948
- Hey, good luck, Brett.
- Yeah. Thank you.

1581
01:49:36,114 --> 01:49:39,034
She's a great gal. Take care of her.

1582
01:49:40,619 --> 01:49:42,246
I'll see you, Mary.

1583
01:49:43,163 --> 01:49:44,581
Bye, Ted.

1584
01:49:47,501 --> 01:49:51,505
- Hey, Warren, see you later.
- Okay, goodbye, Ted.

1585
01:49:53,340 --> 01:49:54,925
Goodbye.

1586
01:49:56,301 --> 01:49:58,512
God, Mary, I've missed you.

1587
01:49:58,846 --> 01:49:59,888
Hey, Brett.

1588
01:50:00,055 --> 01:50:03,225
What are the chances I could get you
to give me a little autograph?

1589
01:50:03,392 --> 01:50:05,394
- Something nice to the wife and kids.
- What?

1590
01:50:05,561 --> 01:50:07,813
Oh, shut up. Cock tease.

1591
01:50:34,381 --> 01:50:38,802
Well, she's back with her old boyfriend

1592
01:50:38,969 --> 01:50:43,265
He don't challenge her
He don't contend with her

1593
01:50:43,432 --> 01:50:47,728
And she don't answer the cards you send

1594
01:50:47,895 --> 01:50:51,857
And you're jealous of the time
That he spend with her

1595
01:50:52,024 --> 01:50:56,236
Just let her go into the darkness

1596
01:50:56,862 --> 01:51:01,199
Let her live for all the things there

1597
01:51:01,366 --> 01:51:05,537
Let her go into the darkness

1598
01:51:05,704 --> 01:51:09,750
Let her go, let her go, let her go

1599
01:51:33,523 --> 01:51:35,067
Ted.

1600
01:51:36,902 --> 01:51:38,528
Mary?

1601
01:51:40,447 --> 01:51:42,240
Ted.

1602
01:51:43,241 --> 01:51:44,910
Mary.

1603
01:51:47,079 --> 01:51:48,664
Ted.

1604
01:51:52,626 --> 01:51:54,127
You forgot your keys.

1605
01:52:07,975 --> 01:52:10,060
Did you really mean
what you said up there?

1606
01:52:13,772 --> 01:52:16,024
I just want you to be happy, Mary.

1607
01:52:20,112 --> 01:52:22,239
But I'd be happiest with you.

1608
01:52:26,785 --> 01:52:28,328
You're fucking with me, right?

1609
01:52:32,916 --> 01:52:37,587
What about Brett Favre?

1610
01:52:39,548 --> 01:52:42,300
What did I tell you the first time we met?

1611
01:52:42,801 --> 01:52:44,428
I'm a Niners fan.

1612
01:52:57,357 --> 01:53:02,738
His friends would say
"Stop whining," they've had enough of that

1613
01:53:02,904 --> 01:53:08,076
His friends would say
"Stop pining, there's other girls to look at”

1614
01:53:08,535 --> 01:53:13,331
They've tried to set him up
With Tiffany and Indigo

1615
01:53:13,915 --> 01:53:19,254
But there's something about Mary
That they don't know

1616
01:53:19,421 --> 01:53:20,547
What are you doing?

1617
01:53:20,714 --> 01:53:24,259
- That's my girl he's kissing.
- But you just slept with me.

1618
01:53:24,426 --> 01:53:26,887
I was only boning you to get to Mary.

1619
01:53:38,565 --> 01:53:41,777
And a one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.